Blinded
by CTP365
Summary: Jasper and Edward perform for a talent show, a scout in the audience offers them a deal but they will have to move to Hollywood and leave Bella behind will it go to heir heads? will Bella become depressed? or will she make her own name for herself? AH BxJ
1. Introdution

Hello everyone, this is one of three stories that I have. My first story Hailstorm has been put on hold because everytime I open the file to start a new chapter my mind goes blank, meanwhile I have Ideas zipping around my head constantly for other stories. This one won't be published until I hav quite a few chapters written so then I can steadily update it while continuing to write my other story(ies).

This one is called 'Blinded'

Bella Swan, Edward and Jasper Cullen have been bestfriends since Bella moved there when she was six years old, now in their last year of highschool Bella and Edward have crossed over into Boyfriend girlfriend status while Jasper remains Bella's ever loyal confident and best friend, they are in their own little world, nobody bugs them.

Jasper and Edward perform for the school Talent show and a scout in the Audience offers them a record label, in order to make the deal they will have to move to Hollywood and leave Bella behind, will fame go to their heads? or will they stay down to earth? does Bella go into a depression or does she make her own name for herself?

A/H starts Bella x Edward eventually Bella x Jasper


	2. Chapter 1 Discovered

**A/N Okay I totally lied I am posting the first chapter but that is because I love it so much, it seems like so much happens but I couldn't help it, it all just started spilling out of my fingers onto the keyboard.**

**I own nothing stephanie meyer owns it all...except for the songs...the artists who origonally performed them own them...or tey record labels...you know what I mean :-P**

*B POV*

I sat starring out the classroom window tapping my pen impatiently on my binder, it was raining...again...welcome to Forks.

The bell rang signalling the end of the day, I had my stuff together and was out the door faster than I could've imagined, I was putting my books away in my locker when a strong pair of arms wrapped around my waist.

"Guess who?"

"Hmmm...Tyler Crowley?"

The scoff I heard behind me made me giggle.

"As if that guy would be this close to you without having something dismembered"

I shrugged as I turned around to kiss Edward full on the lips, he raised and eyebrow at me as I tugged his hair a little bit.

I shrugged again with a big smile and closed my locker, just then I was tackled by honey blonde curls and I was being spun around in wide circles.

"Jasper if you don't want me to puke on you I suggst you stop"

He laughed as he set me on my feet and Edward wrapped an arm around my waist to steady me.

"You suck"

He shrugged and laughed as they escorted me out of the school, I had known Edward and Jasper since I was six years old, my mother ran away from Forks with me when I was two, leaving my father heart broken, when I was five she was diagnosed with colon cancer and a year later she was gone and I was back in Forks.

My father had picked me up from child custody at the airport, the agent who had accompanied me on the flight was a really nice lady, she had wildly curly red hair and a big smile, her name was Victoria but she insisted I call her Vicky, though it is frowned upon I still communicate with her through E-mail about how I'm doing and what's new in my life.

When my father pulled onto our street, the big house on th corner caught my eye, not because the house was huge and beautiful but there were two boys playing catch with a baseball n the front yard, I'd have someone to play with at least.

Through the years I'd found out they were step brothers but they never called each other that, they were brothers through and through, Jasper was from Esme their mom's first marriage and Edward was from their father Carlisle's, when I started at the school in grade one, they protected me, in grade two when Tyler Crowley pulled my hair and stole my cookies they beat him up and shared _their_ cookies with me, by the time grade eight rolled around nobody ever bothered with us anymore because we simply didn't care, we drew energy and strength from each other and nothing could bring us down, I'd never even had a boyfriend because they were company enough and I knew they loved me as much as I loved them, they tried having girlfriends when highschool started but they both told me no-one could compare to their number one girl, yea it was cheesey but it made me cry.

last year just before summer vacation Edward pulled me aside at the end of the year dance and asked me to be his girlfriend, now almost a year later we were still going strong.

Today they were dragging me over to their house, which was still on the same street as mine, none of us had moved since I got here thank goodness, they were going to show me the song that they're going to play for he end of the year talent show I was estatic, of course I'd heard them play and stuff before, they were already known locally and even played some gigs in Port-Angeles and Seattle through the summer.

I pulled out my video camera, I always recorded all of their oerformances, even the ones where it was only me for their audience, I never wanted to miss a second because one day they were going to be famous.

Jasper had written the lyrics and Edward wrote the music to this song they were both singing and I thought they were particularly awesome.

_Do you have the time  
>To listen to me whine<br>About nothing and everything  
>All at once<br>I am one of those  
>Melodramatic fools<br>Neurotic to the bone  
>No doubt about it<em>

_Sometimes I give myself the creeps  
>Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me<br>It all keeps adding up  
>I think I'm cracking up<br>Am I just paranoid?  
>Am I just stoned?<em>

_I went to a shrink  
>To analyze my dreams<br>She says it's lack of sex  
>That's bringing me down<br>I went to a whore  
>Who said my life's a bore<br>So quit my whining cause  
>It's bringing her down<em>

_Sometimes I give myself the creeps  
>Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me<br>It all keeps adding up  
>I think I'm cracking up<br>Am I just paranoid?  
>Uh, yuh, yuh, ya<em>

_Grasping to control  
>So I better hold on<em>

_Sometimes I give myself the creeps  
>Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me<br>It all keeps adding up  
>I think I'm cracking up<br>Am I just paranoid?  
>Am I just stoned?<em>

"Whooo!"

I clapped wildly as they mock bowed while holding their gutiars I kissed Edward and hugged Jasper.

"You guys are going to kick some serious ass!"

The chuckled and ran thir hands through their hair simultaneously which made me laugh.

"Come on I'll make you guys something to eat!"

They laughed again as they followed me uo the stairs, they sat at the island in the middle of the kitchen while I made some sandwiches, I placed them and some juice boxes in front of them and Edward pulled a face.

"Juice boxes? Really Bella? they are so childish!"

I rolled my eyes and laughed at him, silly silly boy.

"I love juice boxes! How can you not love juice boxes!"

To emphasize my point we heard a loud slurping and turned to jasper who's face was red trying to get the las bit of juice out of it's container which sides where are scrunched in.

"See!"

I pointed to Jasper excitedly and Edward just shook his head with a smile and got a glass out of the cupboard and poured his juice out of a jug in the fridge.

Jasper and I fist bumoed at our juice box loving-ness and rolled our eyes at each other as if saying 'he doesn't know what he's missing'

After we'd eaten we went to the living room and did our homework together, we did this literally everyday, we were never apart, unless either of our families took us on a trip that the other family didn't got to, when we were ten both our families took us to disneyworld but didnt tell us, so we'd told each other we were visiting relatives because we didn't want each other to feel bad that they weren't going, when we saw each other there we were so happy we all cried a little.

At six I packed my stuff up and went home to make dinner for Charlie, we all hugged and I pecked Edward on the lips before leaving.

I'd just pulled the baked potatoes out of the oven when the front door opened and Charlie walked in.

"Hey dad, good timing dinner is just ready now!"

He sniffed the air and smiled at me, he loved steak and potatoes.

"Great Bells thanks, I'm just going to go wash my hands and I'll be right there."

I put dinner on the table and waited for him before I started.

"How're the boys doin'?"

I smiled and got excited as I told him about the song they wrote, and how they were going to be performing it at the talent show.

After dinner Charlie went to watch TV as I cleaned up, having finished my homework, I had a shower and went to bed early.

The week flew by it was our second last week of school ever! prom was next week but the talent show was tonight, I was so excited for the guys, they'd always done covers before now, and I just knew that everyone was going to love it!

As they began the whole crowed started screaming and cheering, they looked hot! After all I dressed them, tight black pants and a white button up for edward, and light blue jeans and a black button up for Jasper, they both had the sleeves rolled to their elbows and man my boys here sexy!

It finished and I ran back stage to congradulate them on how awesome they were I was swung around in a hug by Edward and someone behind us cleared their throat, it was a man in a business suit and he had a bluetooth device in his ear and sunglasses on...though we were inside...he reminded me of the men in black movie.

He appeared to be talking to himself before we all realised he was on the phone.

"Yes sir, I have them infront of me now...yes sir...will do sir...I will sir...you too...bye now"

he took his sunglasses off and pulled a few business cards out of his pocket and handed them to us, our jaws dropped and we looked from each other to the cards to him the card read;

Jacob Black

Spring Box Records

There was also a phone number but none of us paid attention to the card long enought to read it.

Edward was the first one to speak.

"Sp-spring Box records?"

The guy smirked and nodded.

"Correct, we were requested by the mayor to send a representative and now we know why...you boys are the next big hi, we would love to sign you!"

I hugged Edward around the waist while he stood as still as a statue.

"Oh Edward that's fantastic!"

He shook his head to clear it and Jasper seemed to be vibrating with excitement, I tackled him for a hug and we spun around laughing.

Edward cleared his thoat and looked the man square in the eye.

"If you don't mind we're going to have to discuss this with our parents..."

As if on cue Esme and Carlisle came around the corner and hugged them, then turned to the man with confusion on their faces, when Edward explained who he was their jaws dropped and I could only imagine that, that was what I'd looked like.

They guys and Esme and Carlisle got him to follow them back to their house, I went with them as they had been my ride to the talent show, Edward wanted me to stay as he wanted me to be part of it all.

We sat at the dining table while this guy explained to the boys what a deal with Sprong Box record held for them, everything sounded so amazing and I encourgaed them to go for it, with the support of their parents of course if Carlsile and Esme had been against it I wouldn't have said a thing.

Once they agreed and were about to sign the contracts, Jacob cleared his throat again.

"One more thing...if you boys do this...you're going to have to move to LA...will you be able to do that?"

He was lookng pointedly at me but I ignored him and looked Edward straight in the eyes and nodded.

We were going to work this out, we always did, I held my breath as they signed the contracts.

"Alright now we have some business to discuss...private...business."

He was eyeing me again at this point and I hugged Edward and Jasper and said goodbye to Carlisle and Esme.

*J POV*

I watched as Bella left, I knew my bestfriend, she was genuinely happy for us but this was going to be harder on her than Edward or I, she was getting left behind...that has never happened before.

I payed close attention to as he explianed how we would start off by doing a benefit concert for the deaf, which to me was slightly ironic.

I was shocked with how okay Edward was with being gone before prom which was exactly a week away, he was going to be going with Bella...she wasn't going to get her prom, my stomach felt hollow but Edward didn't seem fazed.

After Mr. Black left I confronted Edward with it and he shrugged.

"Jasper you know she would want this for us, she wouldn't let something like prom stand in our way"

I knew what he said was true but only to a certain degree, she wouldn't stop us from going but she would be dissapointed on the inside that we'd missed prom.

*E POV*

This was fantastic holy crap! I knew Bella would be a little upset that we were going to be missing prom but she wouldn't stop us leaving because of it.

She was my whole world except for my music but my music always came second to her, that's why her opinion was so important to me, she wanted me to go, so I was going to take this opportuinity and thankfully Jasper was going for it too...I don't know what I would do without my brother.

*B POV*

I was in a pair of grey sweats and a pink tanktop and was about to crawl into bed, Charlie called t me from the living room, which was right next to the freaking door.

"Bella can you get that?"

I huffed and stompped down the stairs, I threw the door open and my jaw dropped, Mr. Black was standing infront of me with a soft smirk on his lips.

"Hello Bella, I have finalized all of the details with the boys but I wanted to come talk to you, I've been told that you aren't musically inclined though from what I've seen you are very beautiful and have a great fashion sense-"

He broke off and looked me up and down before continuing.

"-Well from what you were wearing earlier at least, I figured it would be a shame to let it go to waste, I phoned an aquaintance of mine and she is very interested in meeting with you, give her a call, I will arrange for your transportation when the time comes"

He handed me a business card and was walking away before I could say anything.

I closed the door and sat on my bed and finally looked at the card.

it read;

Leah Clearwater

Editor 'Tween Scene Magazine'

(555)564-9876

Oh my gosh! he was offering me a modeling job! suddenly all thoughts of owning a bakery or a book store went out of my head, I could do that _after_ modeling right? yea it was just a small magazine that was only known to a couple of states in the US but hey it was better than nothing.

I called Edward but it went straight to voicemail, telling me his phone was off or he was already talking to someone so I tried Jasper and he answered on the second ring.

I gushed to him abou what just happened and he was really excited for me, he asked me if I wanted him to get Edward and I decided I was going to surprise him so noit was okay.

Then Jasper told me somethinf that had my heart falling in my chest.

"Bella...we're going to be leaving for LA on wednesday...we're going to e missing prom"

Of course I was upset but I wasn't going to deny them this amazing opportunity or make it more difficult for them to decide so I laughed it off.

"Are you kidding Jasper! Prom is the last thing on my mind!"

He told me how it made him feel a lot better now that I had this modeling opportunity and at least I would be busy until I could come visit them.

I agreed and we said our good-byes, after we hung up I felt one tear slide down my cheek and then the damn broke and the tears poured down my face for hours before I finally drifted off to sleep.

Jasper and Edward had been excused from exams for obvious reasons and were given their course marks as their final grade, meanwhile I still had to write exams next week but I blew off studying to be able to spend their last few days here with the guys.

I helped them pack a little bit and we watched movies and just hung out, during the week I had my exams in the mornings so I had the rest of the day to spend with he guys.

Wednesday came and so did the somber atmosphere I went to my exam and then sped home to spend my last few hours with the guys we just sat on the couch in their living room and talked the whole time me cuddled into Edwards side but my legs across Jasper's lap as he massaged my calf muscles.

soon it was time for them to go to the airport, I went with them so that I could say goodbye, most of their stuff had already been sent to LA, all they had were their checked baggage and one suitcase with some clothes in it, they didn't know but I had packed a little something into each of their suitcases, they would find it when they got there.

We just stood around holding hands, m in the middle between Jasper and Edward as their parents stood infron ot us, just idly chatting to us when their flight was called over the intercome, Edward hugged Esme and kissed her on the cheek before he hugged Carlisle, he turned to me and crushed me in a hug and kissed me deeply before walking swiftly to the counter handed over his passport and ticket and soon dissappeared down the hallway that would lead him to his plane.

Jasper hugged Esme and Carlisle and then turned to me, he opened his arms and I burst into tears, he held me close as I felt his own tears hitting my shoulder when we pulled away he was smiling he kissed my forehead and squeezed my hand before turning to walk to the gate, he too was soon swallowed by the hallway that would take him to the evil hunk of flying metal that was tearing my world in half.

Shortly after, Carlisle and Esme both with eyes full of tears, guided me out of the terminal and to their car, silent tears were fallling down my face the whole ride home, they stopped at the end of my driveway to let me out and I thanked them before hugging them both and giving them each a kiss on the cheek, Esme squeezed my hand and smiled at me.

"Don't be a stranger now Bell dear, you will always be welcome in our home"

I nodded as I got out of the car and ran to the front door once inside I ran to my room locking the door behind me and cried harder than I knew was even possible, Charlie had the common sense to leave me to my misery which I was grateful for.

*J POV*

Once the plane took off I leaned back in my chair and pulled out my I-pod I'd listened to a few songs when suddenly Bella's voice was sounding in my ears, I jumped and looked around me but realized it was on my I-pod, I started the track over and listened more closely.

'_Hey Jazzy, Sorry for kidnapping your I-pod, I promise you'll have it back before you leave...well thats obvios becasue if you are listenting to this then you have your I-pod...Anyway...I just wanted to say that you are the best, best friend that a girl cold ask for, you are always patient and always have something honest to say, even if it's not what I want to hear. I'm going to go for the modeling gig that Mr. Black offered me, and who knows in a few years I may even be in LA with you guys! We'll Im going to say goodbye for now, I love you both and I'm going to miss you like crazy! Oh P.S. haha as if I just said that...can you let Edward know he has one of these messages on his I-pod too_ _haha unless he has heard his first and tells you, Thanks Jazz love ya, Good b_yee,_ oh and here is a song that I thought was fitting'_

I paused it as a few fresh tears trailed down my face, I wiped them away before telling Edward to search through his music to find a message from Bella, he found it quickly and put his headphones in, I hit play and after her goodbye the song that she attached to the end of her file started playing, it brought a whole new cascade of tears to my eyes but I couldn't stop listening to it, I fell asleep with it playing.

*E POV*

'_Hey Edward, Im sorry I committed the sin of putting a non-previously approved file on your musical device, hahaha, am I ridiculous or what? I wanted to say that I am so proud of you and Jasper, this is your dream and you guys are following it, you are the best boyfriend a girl could ask for, you are always protecting me from guys with cooties, just like when we were little. I'm going to go for the modeling job that Mr. Black was offering me...I know you don't think I should do _i_t, but _I_'m going to give it a shot, I love you both and I'm going to miss you like crazy! If Jasper wasn't the one to tell you that this message was on here can you let him know he has one too? Thanks love, love you! Goodbyee!'_

The track ended and a song came on, it wasn't my usual kind of music that I listened to so I guessed that it had gotten uploaded by accident, I turned my I-pod off and put it away as I settled into the chair for a nap. 

*B POV*

It was now Friday, ptom night, I wasn't going, I'd bought a designer dress and everything to impress Edward but now it would just sit in my closet...deciding that I would never acctually wear it I put it up for auction online.

A horn beeped outside and I looked out of my window to see a sleek black car parked on the road, that was my ride, my mind went back to the conversation that I'd had with Ms. Clearwater on the phone on Tuesday afternoon.

"_Hello Bella, Sorry to keep you waiting, it's one of those days you know"_

_Her laugh was honest and sincere which made me instantly relax._

"_Oh yea, I know"_

"_So Bella Jacob says he really thinks you have what it takes to make it as a model, do you agree?"_

_I scrolled through my short list of things I found positiver about myself._

"_Well -_

"_Please Call me Leah"_

"_Well Leah, I am very determined, I'm also very aware of who I am, I'm not going through an identity crisis, I don't have any eating disorders and I really really want this very badly!"_

_She'd laughed and told me what would happen from here._

"_I will send a car for you on Friday at around noon, your interview will more or less be a photoshoot, depending on easy you are to direct and how well the camera loves you and we will decide from there"_

As I stepped out into the light drizzle it cleared my head, I was going to be in the car for almost four hours as I travelled to Seattle, I put my I-pod into my ears set it to my Jasper and Edward playlist and sat back to enjoy the ride.

Once I got there it was surreal I was wisked away and put into a small room I was told to prepare and that my outfit would be here in twenty minutes, on the counter there was a hair straightner, a curling Iron, various brushes, clips and a blowdryer, there were the baisic makeup colours and supplies so I set to work, I decided to straighten my hair but Blow some volume into my roots and curl the ends.

Moments after the dryer was shut off there was a knock on my door and a hand appeared with a garment back, I took with mumbling a thankyou but the door had been closed before the words were out.

I unzipped the bag and I smiled, yes it was designer but it was still jeans and a T-shirt.

But very nice jeans and a very nice T-shirt. They were skinny jeans in Black with rips up the thighs and the T-shirt was a V-neck in forget me not blue, it was very fitted though I suspected that was because it was acctually one size too small, Leah had asked me for all of my specific sizes.

I looked around for the shoes I was going to wear and found nothing, I had just opened my door to poke my head out and I had a shoe box shoved into my hands I smiled thought the person was already walking away.

I peeked in the box to find a pair of white open toe heels that were absolutely gorgeous, thank goodness I took poise classes from the time I was nine until I was fifteen otherwise my old clumsy ways would make these impossible.

I slipped everything on and sat down and put a simple foundation on a little blush, lear lipgloss and for my eyes I used a thikening mascara as my lashes were already so long and a tiny bit of eye liner.

I had just finished when suddenly there was a sharp knock at the door, I opened it and was wisked out and down a hall and into yet another room where there were at least another dozen girls, in outfits very similar to me though not a single girl had the same colour combinations, one girl who had the same jeans as me had on a purple top and someone who had a shirt the same colour but different cut was wearing khaki shorts and so on.

I was in there with them for about twenty minutes when a tall woman with long black hair and striking dark eyes strode into the room.

"Hello Ladies, I am Leah Clearwater, You all want to be models but I'm going to tell you that not all of you will reach your dreams...yes this makes me sound like a cold hearted bitch but its reality so suck it up."

I began taking deep breaths to calm myself.

"Ladies you will be put into three groups of four, we are first going to be working on group shots and then take the best out of each group and put them together into one final group of four, from that group we will choose the best three...got it? good"

she began calling out names and I didn't pay attention untill I heard my name being called.

"Group four is Bella Swan, Britanny Lewis, Samantha Jones and Marissa Evans!"

I went and stood infront of the paper on the wall that said group four and was soon met by a very pretty girl with frizzy red hair which she kept primping as is it was her pride and joy, I found out this girl was Britanny, then another girl appeared with long blonde hair that spilled all the way down her back, this was Smantha finally a very naturally beautiful girl with light brown hair shyed over to our little group, this was Marissa.

After an hour and a half of fast paced posing and shooting we were told to break for lunch we were put into the room with a buffet style table, most girls were just taking some cellery and carrot sticks but I was _hungry_ I grabbed a plate and put a sandwich on it and a few vegies and grabbed a bottle of coke, most of the girls gave me looks like I was insane so I went to the corner and sat in an empty chair over there, soon enough I was surrounded by three other girls.

"Apparently we're lepers too, soo can we sit with you?"

I looked up and a stunningly attractive blonde and a short fairly like girl with black spikey hair, Marissa from my group was with them as well, each of whom had a plate loaded similarly to mine.

"Sure"

I smiled and they all sat down, soon enough we were all laughing and joking around about an hour later Leah came back into the room.

"Ladies attention please...we have come to our decision...first I would like to clear up that the four girls we have chosen, we chose because of their natural beauty and their modeling capabilities, and funny enough they are the only girls in the room comfortable enough with their bodies to acctually eat anything! Bella, Rosalie, Mary, Marissa...will you all come with me please?"

With that she strode out of the room and we did the classic girls standing in a circle screaming while jumping up and down and then we composed ourselves and followed her out of the room.

After another two hours of pictures we were sent home and told we would be contacted in the next couple of days, we all exchanged e-mails and cell phone numbers and promised to stay in contact.

I got home and checked my e-mail, there was an message from Edward telling me to call him and Jasper as soon as I got home, it was already ten thirty but he said they didn't care how late it was so I dialed, they answered on the second ring.

Two voices rang through the phone telling me that I was on speaker phone.

"BELLA!"

I laughed and flopped onto my bed.

"Hey guys how are things?"

Edward was the first to speak (Edward, **Bella**, _Jasper_)

"Oh Bella it was so cool, we got here and there was that dude who holds the sign with your name on it, and we got into a limo!"

"_Yea and it had a TV and everything in it and then when we got to the hotel our room was huge! we have a whole half of a floor to ourselves it's like an apartment there are three rooms so you have somewhere to stay when you come to visit!"_

"**You guys that's awesome and I am so jealous! The interview went well today I'm in the final group that they are choosing from, I should be hearing in the next couple of days"**

"That's Fantastic"_"I'm so proud of you Bella!"_

We talked until almost midnight, I cried when we said our goodbyes but we promised to talk at least twice a week and send e-mails every day.

I woke up on Monday morning and something felt different, I had texts from both Mary who actually like going by her middle name Alice and Rosalie demanding that I call them right away so I called Alice and she connected Rosalie to make it a three way call, they both were screaming into my ear they both got it! The third postion was between Marissa and myself.

I held my breath as I booted up my computer, it was agonizingly slow, when it finally loaded I hovered the cursor over my e-mail quick link I closed my eyes and double clicked Alice, Rosalie and I counted to sixty and I opened my eyes.

"Oh my god guys I have an E-mail from Leah...what if she tells me I didnt get it!"

I had a chorus of screams in my ear all I understood was Alice's

"OPEN IT ALREADY!"

So I clicked it and then I screamed, Charlie came rushing up the stairs and into my room he had his gun in his hand and he visibly relaxed when he saw me alone and unharmed.

I said a quick goodbye to them and hung up.

I sent Edward a text telling him about how I got it and then I sent one to Jasper.

After I finished typing my messgae to Jasper my phone beeped with Edwards reply.

_So proud of you love, keep up the good work_

_xoxo E_

I was about to send a 3 back to him but my phone began ringing before I could could send it, it was Jasper calling. (_Bella_, **Jasper**)

"_Heloooo?"_

"**Bella I am so happy for you! You have to tell me about the other girls who got it with you!"**

"_Well Rosalie was for sure going to get it she is so gorgeous, and Alice is a little fire cracker!"_

We talked for almost an hour before I tried to stifle a yawn, Jasper caught that and told me to go to bed that they would speak to me when they could.

I sent off my heart message to Edward with an I lvoe you thrown in after and went back over to my computer to read through the details that Leah had sent in her message.

My face fell as I read through it, I was going to need to discuss this with Charlie, I printed the e-mail and brought it to Charlie at breakfast the nex morning.

He read over it slowly and I was starring at the floor, I know I was legally an adult and could do whatever I wanted but I couldn't do this without his permission, after all I'd be moving out so I could live close to the studio in Seattle.

He cleared his throat and my head snapped up to him.

"Bells this is an amazing opportunity! did you see what you would be getting paid for this!"

"Acctually dad it isn't all thatr much but I get to keep the clothes from all of my shoots, I'm minimum wage...but dad, I'd have to live in there...in Seattle"

He raised his eyebrow at me and tried to hide a smile though he failed.

"I'll manage without you Bells, you can't turn down this opportunity, we'll find you a place, don't worry"

He grimaced and covered his ears as I screamed and hugged him.

I ran up to my room and logged onto my instant messenger and instantly two bubbles popped up.

_BarbieDoll186_ _says: Soooo what did he say?_

**Tink765 says: Oh my gosh did you know we get to keep the clothes from every shoot!**

BellyBear131 says: I'm inviting Rosalie into this conversation Alice

**Tink765 says:** **Okie Dokie!**

_BarbieDoll186_ _has joined the conversation_

**Tink765 says: Hey Rose!**

_BarbieDoll186_ _says: Hey Pixie_

BellyBear131 says: I think we should all rent an appartment together.

**Tink765 says:** **That's an awesome idea Bella!**

_BarbieDoll186_ _says:_ _For sure! That would make it so much easier for all of us!_

The conversation continued on while we all scanned the internet for ads on apartments for rent in Seattle every so often one of posting a link to 'The Perfect Place'

It took us two days but we found one we all agreed on and us and all of our parents and even the Cullens joined us to view it, and we decided it was perfect and well within our budget.

After signing the contract and our parents co-signed for each of us we were handed our keys we circle hugged and rushed home to begin packing.

Before putting my laptop in it's bag I sent a joint e-mail to both Edward and Jasper telling them of my new adventure and that I loved them both and I looked forward to hearing how their performance went tomorrow even though Rose, Alice and I would be watching it live on the TV in our NEW APARTMENT!

I signed hugs and kisses and sent it off.

After the last box was put in the car, I climbed the stairs to my room for the last time and scooped my purse off of the bed, I looked around my now bare room once more and closed the door behind me.

**A/N Please Review it would make me so happy!**


	3. Chapter 2 New Beginning

*J POV*

"Dude wake up...Edward...YO!"

Edward jumped about a foot off the bed and landed on the floor, I almost killed myself laughing as he glared at me over the edge of the bed.

"Dude we have a meeting in like an hour"

I chucked him the clothes that were on his dresser and he rolled his eyes.

"Thanks for dressing me mom!"

I laughed as he threw a pillow at me.

"I didn't pick them, I video chatted with Bella, she dressed both of us today"

His eyes glazed over as a small smile passed over his lips, I felt the usual stab of jealousy that came with having to share my bestfriend, yea she loved us both, but she would always love him just a little bit more.

I closed the door behind me and sent a quick text to her, though I knew she would be busy unpacking at her new place I just wanted her to know we were thinking about her, it had been almost two weeks since we'd left, it was still weird not having mom and dad's room just down the hall but it was a sacrifice that needed to be made.

_Hey B_

_Outfits are perfect, Eddie boy says thnx_

_xoxo _

_~J_

My phone beeped a few minutes later and I smiled at her response.

_Someone had to do it_.

_Without your mom dressing you, you guys are totally lost ;-P_

_xoxo_

_~B_

I sent her a :-P face and turned my phone off, Edward and I headed to the elevator and got into the car that would take us to our publicity meeting.

*B POV*

I had just pulled up to the apartment and stepped out of my car when my phone beeped telling me I had a message I opend it to find a message from Jasper, I sent back my witty reply and grabbed the first box from the back seat to take it upstairs.

Rose, Alice and I had already dictated who's room would be who's I got the bigger of the three rooms, because it had a smaller closet, I wanted it because it had and eastern facing window and I wanted to catch the sun in the morning as it was rising.

I put the box down in the middle of the floor and left to go get the others out of my car, Charlie had offered to come help me but I told him that this was something that had to be done independently, so instead we spent the whole day together yesterday just watching movies and talking about nothing yet everything.

It was about an hour later and all of the boxes were in my room, I heard a buzzing noise and went to the little speaker pannel next to the front door and pressed the button.

"Hello?"

A deep voice came through the speaker.

"Movers, this appartment 20?"

I pressed the button again as I unlocked and opened the front door.

"Yup, come on up door is open"

I released the talk button and buzzed them in.

I grabbed one of the smaller boxes and took the glasses out of it and started making a pitcher of lemonade and set it on the counter in the kitchen just as I heard heavy feet in the hall way.

Two burly guys appeared carrying my dresser between the two of them and I told them just to put it anywhere in the room at the end of the hall, that I would move it later and to help themselves to the lemonade in the kitchen if they wanted anything.

My bed was next, in pieces, though they were kind enough to put it together for me, my armoire was next and then my full length mirror and the rocking chair.

They had a glass of lemoade each, thanked me and left, I called a thankyou down the hall to them before I closed the door.

I walked into my room and saw that they had even placed my box spring and mattress on my bed frame I smiled as I started to move all of my furniture around, the headboard on my bed came to below the window ledge so I centered my bed beneath the window with a nightside table on either side, I put my dresser right next to my closet door on one side and my armoire on the other, my mirror went next to my dresser and the rocking chair in a corner of the room, I knelt on the floor and pulled all of the boxes marked clothes towards me, I grabbed the pile of bags from Target and dug through them until I found all of the hangers I'd purchased.

I was about halfway done when I heard a scream, I ran into the apartment and saw Alice there with a huge grin on her face, she tackled me and we hugged I went downstairs with her to help her and her parents unload their truck, they'd had an old dining room set in their garage and had been kind enough to give it to us so that we wouldn't need to buy one.

"I can't wait until Rose gets here! this is going to be so cool!"

I helped her dad with the table as the legs were detached it was much easier, I took it from the top and he had most of the weight at the bottom but I had to help manuver it around the staircase, once in the apartment the legs were then screwed onto the table and it was place upright, Alice said we were going to re-organize everything to our liking once Rose got here but she wouldn't be here until tomorrow as she was coming from a little further away.

After all of Alice's boxes were in her room, and all her furniture was in pieces in the hall her parents apologized but they had to head home as they were working early the next morning and had a few hours drive to get home.

We insisted that it was okay and as they hugged Alice I stood back, a single tear slid down my face, maybe I should have asked Charlie to help me...Alice's mom Charlotte saw me and a few tears escaped her eyes as she opened her arms to me and I stepped into them while I laughed at my ridiculousness, she kissed my head and they were gone.

I helped Alice put all of her furniture together and we arranged her room, it was about 5:30 so I went and put the sheets and pillows and comforter on my bed before I started dinner, I dragged the huge box that the movers had brought for me to the kitchen and opened the top, this held all of our pots and pans and cooking utensils and knives and our eating utensils. I organized these into all of our cupboards and drawers while I fought back a yawn. once I was finished I started to think about what I was going to make us for dinner when it dawned on me.

"SHIT!"

Alice rushed in with a curious look on her face.

"We _have_ nothing to make for dinner..."

Alice laughed as if this wasn't an issue.

"I don't see how this is funny Alice, I have no idea where any of the grocery stores are yet!"

She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and waved it at me.

"Take out?"

Oh yea...

"Pizza?"

She nodded as she flipped through the phonebook that was left on the counter.

She snapped her phone shut with a click and skipped back to her room.

"Twenty minutes!"

I laughed as I went back to finsih organizing my drawers and closet...this is exhausting!

Finally the buzzer went of and I heard Alice's dancing footsteps as she went to the door and pressed talk.

"House of lords, god speaking!"

I almost burst out laughing as I ran to the door to watch what Alice did next.

We both covered our mouths as the voice sounded through the speaker.

"Uh- house of pie-pizza guy"

She buzzed him up and we waited by the front door

There was a timid knock and Alice threw the door open, the poor guy jumped back about five feet before stepping forward and clearing his throat.

"That'll be $17.49 please miss"

Alice giggled as she skipped to her room to get her purse, I placed the pizza on the counter in the kitchen and returned to the front hall, she was taking a while but soon enough she came into view.

"Sorry I couldn't find a piece of paper, anyway, all I had was a fifty so keep the change"

She handed him the folded bill with a big smile as he thanked her profusely and left almost bowing, the door closed and Alice and I dropped to the ground laughing.

It was hard to believe that just this morning I was in my old room at home and now I'm rolling around on the floor with one of my roomates in our very own place! it was just crazy I helped her up and she followed me to the kitchen.

she grabbed two plates a roll of paper towel and the pitcher of lemonade and went to set them on the dining table, I heard a beeping noise that didnt sound like my phone and I heard Alice call to me from the other room.

"It's just a text can you read it out to me?"

I picked her phone up off the counter and opened it, it was from a number not in her contacts because all it showed was the digits, no name.

"Did god just slip me her phone number in a fifty dollar bill?- OH MY GOD ALICE!"

She burst out laughing at the same time as me.

"You can't blame me Bella, he was totally attractive and he brought us food!"

"We phoned for it!"

"See he takes direction well!"

We laughed again as I brought the pizza box out to the table, I was surprised that the two of us completely demolished an extra large pizza by ourselves but I guess that's what a full day of moving will do for you.

It was just coming up 9:00pm when I texted Rose telling her I was making a grocery list for myself for tomorrow and if there was anything she wanted me to pick up for her.

Her text came back about ten minutes later, and her requests where listed as such;

_-coconut shampoo and conditioner_

_-lavender bodywash_

_-razors_

_-shaving cream_

_-grannysmith apples_

_-peanut butter_

_-and the biggest freaking tub of chocolate ice-cream you can find_

_Will give you some money when I get there tomorrow 3 luv ya B Tell A I say hi!_

I laughed and sent a _kk_ back to her and then wrote her requests on my almost full sheet of paper, Alice had given me her requests as well.

Alice who had thought of everything placed four _giant_ jars on the counter in the kitchen each had it's own label, with what that money was for and how much we would be required to provide weekly.

Food $50.00 each, weekly

Rent $80.00 each, weekly (rent was $950 a month)

Home Repairs $20.00 each, weekly

Girls Night $20.00 each Weekly

As each of us would be working five days a week for eight to ten hours a day this method was more than fair and it was a good way to budget, of course our intial start up was a splurge which was being funded by our parents, we were safe, still I put my $170.00 into the different jars as did Alice I texted Rose to let her know what Alice had suggested and she thought it was a fantastic idea. she asked me for my bank details so her father could wire me her share of the grocery money for tomorrow since she was going to be a bit late tomorrow and wouldn't really get here until just before the guy's performance on TV.

I gave her my information and bid her good night as her mom was pulling into the hotel they would be staying at tonight.

I helped Alice make her bed and I went to my room.

I sat cross legged on my bed and plugged my computer in, thankfully utilities were included in our rent, which meant we'd have wifi!

I booted up my laptop and opened my e-mail to send off a message to my dad and the boys as well as Carlisle and Esme.

I signed off each one with love and then crawled into bed.

My phone ringing on my night table woke me up, I saw the caller ID and it was Edward so I didn't hesitat to answer.

"Hello!"

"Hey beautiful how're you?"

His tired voice croaked throught the phone and I frowned

"I'm good, why are you calling so late...or early...it's four A.M. don't you have that concert today?"

I heard him sigh and could picture him raking his free hand through his hair.

"Yea, I do I just...had a really horrible dream, you were there and I just h-ad to make sure you were o-okay"

I heard his voice crack and it brought tears to my eyes.

"Yes I'm perfectly safe, I'm warm and cozy in my bed in my new apartment, the alarm system is set and all of the windows are locked, there is nothing to worry about love"

I heard him exhale as if relieved and I smiled.

"I love you Edward"

"I love you too Bella, always"

We spoke for a few more minutes before I insisted he get his rest for his big day.

When I woke again it was ten o'clock, I put on a pair of jeans and a long sleeved shirt before pulling my hair back into a messy pony tail then made my way to the kitchen, I sighed as there was nothing to eat so I knocked softly on Alice's door and discovered her dressed in capris and a t-shirt with a big smile on her face.

"Going out for breakfast?"

We spoke simultaneously and giggled quietly as we left the apartment and locked the door behind us, the grocery list was already in my purse and I made sure to grab Alice's and my money out of the food jar, even if Rose's wasn't in my bank account yet it would be put there eventually so I wasn't concerned.

We decided to stop at a little, old fashioned looking diner and ordered flapjacks, my mouth watered as they were set down infront of me and I dug in hungrily, Alice doing the same but I bet it was more dainty than me, I felt ravenous.

We tipped the waitress well before leaving and hopped back in the car to find a grocery store, we found one soon after and I parked the car as Alice grabbed a cart.

We got everything on our list first minus the frozen stuff and we explored around the store grabbing some more items that we'd realized we had forgotten, after getting everything we made it to the cash registered.

the bill came to a little more than what we had available so I just put it all on the credit card that Charlie had given me and decided that I would give him the cash when he came over next Sunday with Carlisle and Esme.

We crammed everything into the trunk and back seat and spent and hour and half organizing our cupboards and fridge when we got home.

Rose texted us saying the moving company just contacted them and said that they'd arrived, shortly after we heard a buzz and I went to the speaker pannel.

"Hello?"

"Movers"

"Come on up, door is open"

I buzzed them in and opened the door and blocked it wide open with one of the dining chairs.

They were there for about three hours and enjoyed a plate of sandwhiches that I'd made for them but when they left our sitting area had a huge couch, a loveseat, an amrchair, a TV, a coffee table an entertainment unit which the TV was sitting on and the one guy even knew how to hook up our satelite for us.

Alice and I went to our rooms and brought out the boxes that held all of our DVDs and we organized them by the colour of the cover art which acctually looked realy cool on the shelving unit.

We heard two sets of heels on the floor in the hallway and we both screamed as we ran to the door.

"ROSE!"

We threw the door open snd she stood there with a women who we could only guess was her mother because they looked almost exactly alike though Rose was a younger version.

All they had with them was their purses plus a small suitcase each, all or Rose's stuff had been sent with the movers since they'd had such a long distance to come.

We'd surprised Rose by organizing her clothes in her closet as well as made her bed, we'd also had nothing to do and decided it would be fun.

They stepped into the apartment and were shocked that we'd already had so much done in the short amount of time we'd been here.

"It's nothing special Mrs. Hale it didn't take too long."

We had lunch with Roses mom before she stated that it was time to let her babygirl get settled in, Alice and I left them to have their goodbye after telling Mrs. Hale how nice it was to met her.

Rose came and sat on the couch with us twenty minutes later, I'd already programed the guys performance into the satelite box so we flipped on a fashion channel and turning the volume up went to our rooms and puttered around the apartment, a half an hour later I got a text from Jasper.

_Concert starting in 20 minutes we are second up, performing_ _our song from the talent show, so excited! Eddie boy feels bad_,_ left his phone in change room :-P ooh and we have a name now, not sure why we didn't think of it before, but it fits, you'll hear it when they call us, We luv ya Bella._

_3 xoxo_

_~J_

I texted back that I couldn't wait but I knew he'd have turned his phone off right after messaging me.

The announcer started and we sat and watched the first band, it was muse and they were REALLY good but we were waiting for my boys, I pulled out the video camera and zoomed onto the TV even though the PVR was already recording it this was their first HUGE show so I had to have it on this camera, from the bottom to the top.

"These brothers come from a rainy little town in Washington, put your hands together for CULLEN SQUARED!"

The screams that erupted from the crowd warmed my heart, I felt a tear slide down my cheek when I thought of how I wouldn't be there back stage when they ran off with huge grins on their faces, I wiped away the lone tear and smiled.

I felt a poke in the ribs and Rose winked at me.

"Which one is your man Bells?"

I smiled proudly.

"Both, haha but Edward is the one I'm dating, he's the one with the wild bronze hair."

They both oohed and ahhed at how gorgeous they were once the song was done we three jumped off the couch onto our feet and applauded wildly. we watched the entire concert even though Edward and Jasper only did their one song.

After it was done I considered calling them but I knew there would probably be some after party thing so I decided to let them have their night, instead I sent them off congratulatory E-mails.

*J POV*

The rush of being on stage infront of thosands of people was undescribable, I looked at Edward and from the huge grin on his face I knew he felt the same thing I did, we hadn't quite made it to the big time yet but we were well on our way!

After our song finsihed we ran off the stage and I hadn't realized I was looking for anything until I noticed that something was missing...Bella always came back stage to say how much she loved what we did or how great we were up there, my chest felt hollow while my head buzzed with excitement so I painted a smile on my face and ran to mine and Edwards dressing room.

we stayed until Jacob called my cell phone, our car was waiting around back to take us to the club for the after party, though we weren't old enough legally to drink apparently when you're a star it doesn't matter..according to Edward that is.

We stepped outside and I resisted the urge to cover my ears at the sound of the wall of screaming girls that hit us we smiled and had pictures taken and signed a few T-shirts and phone cases but Jacob was rushing us into the car, so many of them were dissappointed.

*E POV*

The crowd was exhilerating we danced around while we sang and played our guitars, which werent our old ones, the label had bought them brand new for us which was so cool.

When we finished we ran off stage, I hadn't realized the Jasper wasn't right next to me until I was alone in our change room, something must have distracted him, but not for long cause he was there shortly after with a big grin on his face, his phone rang about thirty minutes later , it was Jacob.

We stepped outside into the roar of hundreds of girls, we posed for pictures and signed some stuff, one girl begged me to kiss her on the cheek but Jacob rushed us into the car before we could pay anymore attention to the crowd.

We arrived at the club and had drinks shoved into our hands as soon as we got inside I began gulping mine because I was thirsty though I didn't realize until my head became light that there was alcohol in it, though I should've guessed.

I finished my drink and when I saw Jasper wasn't going to drink his I asked him if he wouldn't mind donating it to me...which sounded really stupid I don't know why I said it but still he gave me a weird look and handed it over, I drank this one much more slowly than my first though.

we were out until almost three in the morning before Jacob told us our car was here to take us back to the hotel.

*B POV*

We all woke up the next morning very excited, it was our first day to go and work, we were told to dress comfortable as we were only going to be changed and made up when we got there so having a 'fresh' face would be appreciated.

We piled into my car in our sweats and T-shirts and running shoes but we packed some nicer clothes for oursleves in a bag that we threw in the trunk, just incase we decided to go anywhere.

We arrived at the studio and Leah was waiting in the lobby for us, she escorted us to a different part of the building than where our interview had been, we were told that today we were going to be doing a 'sleep over' shot for an article in the magazine about fun and safe things for teen girls to do at slumber parties.

Rose was in pink flanel pj's and white fluffy slippers while I was in light blue flannel with white clouds and dark blue fluffy slippers, Alice was in yellow silk shorts and a white tank top and bare feet, her toenails were painted a bright red, Rose's hair was up in a pony tail mine was braided into pig tails and Alice's had extensions clipped into it, they were long and curly hanging around her shoulders.

we took a series of shots, each catagory broken into different parts of the day, right after hair and make up we did poses where we were all laying on our stomachs looking at different magazines both as a group and individually, then we had our hair and make-up touched up and we had a pretend pillow fight though we really got into it which the photographer said gave him some great material to work with.

We then broke for lunch which again was served buffet style.

Alice was the first to speak at lunch time

"Ugh I'm soo hungry I could eat everything here!"

We laughed and giggled for about half an hour before someone came into the room and told us we had five minutes so we finsihed eating and went back into the studio for our afternoon sessions.

We had shots of pretending to play with each others hair and painting each other's nails, for our very last session which was at seven thirty I might add, we were being shot in sleeping bags, the room was darkened and we stared at a blank TV we assumed they'd photoshop the movie onto the screen later.

We were told to just play around with this so we alternated having Alice looking over at a pretending to sleep me, bending our heads together and looking like we were whispering, all of us asleep and then Rose and I pretending to jump and a pretending to sleep Alice.

The day ended for us at nine thirty so we'd had a ten and a half hour day which wasn't bad at all we were a little sleepy by the time we got back to the appartment so we all just had some toast and hotchoclate before taking turns in the shower and heading to bed.

The next day went much of the same though we started a little earlier and ended earlier, with only an eight hour day we weren't super tired so went back to the apartment and I made spaghetti while Rose made the salad and Alice set the table.

Just as everything was finished my phone rang, it was Edward, I told the girls to serve themselves, I'd eat later. (Bella, **Edward**)

"Hello Love"

"**Hello Beautiful, how was your first day of work yesterday?"**

"It was great, today was even better! we dressed up in parkas and got to throw fake snow at each other for six hours, it won't be in the magazine until november but still, it was totally awesome!"

"**That's really great to hear! I got all of your E-mails, and to answer your questions everything is going great, I may have gotten a little tipsy at the concert after party but we had the next day off to relax so it didn't bite me in the butt that way."**

"Do I _want_ to know what way it did bite you?"

**-Sigh- "Jasper decided it would be the perfect time to have nascar on as well as the radio turned up really really loud"**

I couldn't help laughing it sounded like something either of them would've done to the other in that situation.

"Well have you learned your lesson?"

I heard his grin in his answer.

"**Nope"**

I was about to laugh and tell him to at least be careful when I heard a couple people laughing in the background.

"_C'mon Ed let's goo don't want ta keep da ladies waitin"_

Edward cleared his throat and laughed.

"**Ya guys _suuure_ whatever you find at the club is going to be better than the gorgeous model I have on the phone!"**

I heard a scuffle and Edward shout

"**HEY!"**

Then a deep amused voice spoke into my ear.

"_Sorry Doll we're stealing your boyfriend for the night, he'll talk to you tomorrow"_

I heard Edward yell a hasty

"**Goodbye! Love you!"**

Before the dial tone hit my ear, I laughed my head off and went back out to find Rose and Alice sitting on the couch watching TV, dinner unserved in the kitchen, everything was covered in tin foil to keep it warm and the sauce was sitting on the burner turned on low.

"Girls you didn't have to wait for me!"

They both shrugged and smiled we went into the kitchen and served ourselves and then sat at the table.

With the first bite I swore their eyes rolled back into their heads.

"Oh my god Bella this is amazing!"

I laughed as they continued to praise my cooking.

After dinner we worked as an assembly line Alice washed the dishes, Rose dried them and I put them away.

After everything was done it was eight o'clock I went to my room and logged onto my instant messanger, right away a message popped up.

JazzHands75 says: Hey Bella how're you?

_BellyBear131 says: Hi Jazzy, Great! just had an awesome dinner with the girls and now just chilling before going to bed, how about yourself Mr. Rockstar! ;-P_

JazzHands75 says: Haha not a lot just chilling in the hotel room, Edward ditched me to hang out with some of the guys we met at the concert.

_BellyBear131says: Why didn't you go with them?_

JazzHands75 says: I don't know, just the partying side of things doesn't really interest me, I prefer to just chill and watch a movie or play my acoustic, ya know?

_BellyBear131 says: Ya I know what you mean it's only Tuesday and I'm exhausted, though once I work more I'll get used to it, when we get copies of the magazine I'll send you and Edward a couple! :-D_

JazzHands75 says: I'm so excited and so proud of you Bella, I can't wait until I get to see your work!

(two and a half hours of conversation later)

JazzHands75 says: Bella you have to work tomorrow so I am going to let you get some sleep :-)

_BellyBear131_ _says: I don't work until noon tomorrow, but that does mean a pretty late night and I am tired, so I will accept your offer on the condition that you get some sleep too, its late!_

JazzHands75 says: Will do ma'am

_BellyBear131 says: You better dream of me tonight! :-P_

JazzHands75 says: Always do :-P Good night Bella, sweet dreams 3 x

_BellyBear 131 says: You too Jazz 3 x_

He signed off first and I sighed closing my computer, I went for a shower and then curled up in bed staring out at the dark sky on the other side of my window.

I missed them both so much, I hadn't hugged them in close to a month, haven't even seen them except for on TV, this was such a bummer.

The rest of the week went by quickly and it was Saturday, one of our two days of the week off, tomorrow Charlie, Carlisle and Esme would be arriving and we were all going out for dinner, so we decided to make this saturday a girls day, we only had sixty dollars so far in our girls day Jar because we hadn't gone to the bank to get any money out yet.

So today was a free day, we sat around and did each other's hair and makeup we watched some movies and baked a cake, after we went out to dinner tomorrow we would come back here for coffee and cake.

I had an hour long phone call with Edward that night and went to bed with a big smile on my face.

Late the next afternoon Alice, Rose and I started getting ready for the evening out with Charlie and Carlisle and Esme.

From what we were told we were going to a very high end restaraunt so we were to dress very formally, we decided to wear the dresses we had gotten from the prom shoot, I'd cried bitterly for hours the night we did the shoot, not on set of course but after we got home.

The girls had no idea why it bothered me until I explained it and they cheered me up by lighting candles in the living room and turned all the lights of and played slow music, we got dressed up in the dresses from the shoot and did a three way slow dance.

But now the dress made me happy, the one I'd put up for sale on E-bay was still unsold so I was considerng taking it off and just keeping it as it was already tucked away in the garment bag.

At ten to six our buzzer went and we gathered around the speaker and pushed talk

"Yuuuuhhhheeeeeessssss?"

We chorused this together and heard laughter through the speaker a second later.

"It's us Bells can we come up?"

I buzzed them in and bounced up and down until there was a knock at the door, I didn't have my dress on so Charlies eyes didn't widen as much as they could have but they still did.

"Wow Bells you look great!"

He adjusted his tie nervously, he was wearing a suit that I knew made him uncomfortable, suddenly I had two sets of arms around me as Carlisle and Esme hugged me together.

We invited them in and talked for a while about how we were all doing, thenthe girls and I went to change.

We'd left all of our dresses and shoes and purses in my room so we all changed in there, Rose's dress was a deep red wine colour it had halter straps, the fabric was smooth over her bust with a lace in the same colour creating an empire waist where it contiued in a loose flowy fabric to just below her knees, she wore a pair of silver heels with it and she looked fantastic.

Alice's dress was a forest green colour it was strapless and clung to her tiny yet curvey fram and stopped at her calves. with it she paired some black sequined flats.

My dress was a halter like Rose's but was a midnight blue colour, it was backless but very comfortable, once the fabric reached my waistline it formed into a loose flowy pleat and stopped at my knees I put on a pair of black heels to go with it.

We walked out into the living room together where everyone else was sitting wewere showered with compliments and then guided out side and got into our cars, we followd them to the restaruant and our jaws dropped when we got there, a meal for all of us was going to cost more than I made this week, Carlisle had insisted he was going to pay but I had to double check that he was sane.

We were seated at our table before we notice the three gift bags that they had brought with them from he car, the each handed one to Alice, Rose and I and we peeked inside.

our jaws dropped and they shrugged.

"Well it was the least we could do"

Inside were the most gorgeous bracelets on the planet, they were real silver with silver charms, we notice that the charms all matched with the ones on each others bracelets except for the largest ones, we held them together and realized that they were a three part best of friends bracelets, the only thing distinguishing them from each other ws that mine had a dark blue stone on one of the charms, Rose had red and Alices was an amber colour.

The food at he restaraunt was amazing and we got back to the aparment at nine and enjoyed coffee and cake with them, tears came to my eyes when it was time for them to leave I hugged Esme and Carlisle first and they went to wait down in the car for Charlie, I hugged him the tightest and he hugged me back, this was hard for us, we hadn't bee apart in years but we would make it work.

I had tried to give Charlie the money that was owed to his credit card but he flat out refused, after we broke our hug he cleared his throat and reached into his inside jacket pocket and pulled out a small silver cylinder.

"If you are ever out alone at night I want you to carry this somewhere thet you can get it out quickly, the city is different from Forks...be safe I love you"

With that he kissed my forehead and rushed out the door, I smiled as I looked down at what I held in my hand and burst out laughing when I realized it was a can of pepper spray


	4. Chapter 3 Identity Crisis

*B POV*

After working at the studio for a couple of weeks we no longer needed Leah to escort us, we could find our way and people recognized us, I will never forget that day, it was the first week of August and the sun was shinning as we walked into the studio, we were arm in arm as we strolled down the hallway, suddenly a door to our right flew open and a girl in a white robe stormed out screaming her head off.

"I am never going to work with those dumb bitches ever again, if they aren't smart enough to realize that getting drunk the night before a shoot and showing up hungover is the dumbest thing they could do then they need to go work for chicks gone wild!"

With that she slammed the door and stormed down the hallway, we shrugged and continued on, this wasn't the first time we'd witnessed one of the models throwing a hissy fit, we went to our change rooms and put on the swim suits and beach shorts with flip flops that hung on the back of the door, today was going to be a quick session as our poses were fixed and it was for a summer sporting wear company, they were all individual shots but would be featured in the same magazine but spread out.

We walked onto the set to see a huge pile of sand with some props on it, Rose was going to be laying on her stomach on a green towel sunbathing, the logo of the brand on the butt of her swimsuit bottoms, I was to be posed holding a volleyball between the side of my hip and my wrist while my other hand was on my other hip, my hair had been flat ironed pin straight today and a fan was blowing to make my hair drift lightly across my face in the shot.

Alice was probably the cutest of them all for her they brought in a replica lifegaurd chair and she sat sideways at the top of it with one leg crossed over the other at the knee and she had a whistle hanging out of her mouth.

We had just finished shooting having only been here for three hours, when suddenly a very angry looking woman stormed onto or set and began yelling at Leah who'd come to see how we were doing.

"Why the _Hell_ did you cancel my shoot! were you dropped on your head? Franchesca _NEEDS_ these photos for her 'Frightfully Sexy' Halloween shoot! If she loses this deal with Victoria secret its on your head!"

The woman stood there with her arms crossed and waited for Leah to respond.

"Helen...two models showed up hung over and the other quit, what do you want me to do? I can't just pull three models out of my ass now can I?"

The woman who had yelled at her looked defeated and then she glanced at us and her eyes sparkled.

"What about those three? Frank just said it was a wrap so they aren't busy...can I use them?"

Her eyes narrowed dangerously at Leah and we all held our breath.

Leah sighed and looked at us.

"Girls?"

We screamed and hugged each other but it was cut short when Helen started barking orders at us and chased us into our change room shortly after there was a harsh knock on the door and then before anyone answered it, it flew open and Helen stormed in.

She shoved some black and orange fabric at Alice, it turns out it was a Teddy, the satin underneath was orange while the lace on top was black.

She shoved purple and black fabric at Rose, she was given a slip that was purple silk trimmed with black lace.

And at me, she shoved a simple midnight blue lace bra and underwear, thank goodness not a thong.

We were all given identical black heels to wear.

I suddenly changed my mind about doing this shoot but I couldn't back out now, I couldn't deny this chance to Alice and Rose.

After we were dressed we were given white robes like the one we'd seen the fussy girl wearing earlier.

we were sent to hair and make up, Alice had extensions again, Rose's hair was volumized and curly, my hair was pulled into a low side ponytail and formed into one giant sausage curl that hung on my left shoulder over where the bra strap on that side was.

Once we were in the private studio we were stripped of our robes and handed props.

Not a single picture was taken as Helen spent almost an hour getting us to pose just right.

Rose was on my right and Alice was on my left, which put me right in the middle.

Alice and Rose were given witches brooms, and directed to crouch next to them with one hand at the top of the broom handle while seductively biting the thumb of their other hand.

Both of their poses had them turned slightly sides but out on a slight angle towards the camera, yay for me having a head on shot while I was practically naked!

After they were posed Hellen came up to me, she stuck a very small but elegent witches hat on my head, the colour matching my lack of outfit perfectly, I was to cross my ankles while standing, I was to place one hand on Rose's hand on top of the broom and my other hand ontop of Alice's on her broom.

Once Helen was satisfied with our poses she went behind the camera it flashed no more than five times and she was thanking us for our time and we would hear from her soon.

We put our robes back on and walked stunned to our dressing room where we put our street clothes back on, packed our clothes from our shoots into our bags and went out to my car.

*J POV*

We were getting more and more out there, doing small concerts then opening at a big one, mall signings, walking around LA so the paparazzi would see us, it was all quite enjoyable, I enjoyed my down time though, I would do just what the title entales I would relax, but Edward would go out and party all night and wake up hung over but be 'fine' after he ate something, the only time I would see him sit still was when he was on the phone with Bella at night always for an hour, never any longer, but Bella and I would talk at sporadic times through the day, wether it was just a quick text or an e-mail or she couldn't sleep and was on instant messanger at four in the morning, a girl always talks to her bestfriend more than her boyfriend but she always had Edward included in our conversations some how.

The last time I'd spoken to her on the phone she'd mentioned something about a surprise photoshoot and if it wasn't too embarrassing she would consider sending me a copy when she got it.

~*September 13th*~

*B POV*

"Happy 19th Birthday Bella!"

The screaming and the sudden bouncing of my bed alerted me to the fact that my roomates were awake before my for once, also that it was my brithday.

I smiled as I sat up and had two flat medium sized boxes shoved at me.

I opened the first one and there was a dark blue cap sleeved silk blouse inside with a plain button up front, this was from Alice.

The second one contained a white pleated silk skirt, this was from Rose.

"Awh thanks you guys!"

We went out for dinner that night and I was told to wear this outfit, so I did and we had a blast as usual, I don't know how they got a hold of it but when we got back to the apartment they pulled a bottle of Tequila out of nowhere and we did shots, having a total blast without getting completely shit faced just really buzzed but we knew our limit, I went to bed feeling very happy and excited for work the next day.

We woke up bright and early feeling surprisingly well considering our beverage choice of the evening.

We had just walked into work and were heading to our dressing room when a very frightening looking woman stepped infront of us, she had a very snooty looking entourage behind her we mumbled a hello and she scoffed.

"Looook at zees faces, dhey are 'ow you say...fresh!"

Then she pointed a long finger at each of us.

"You, You and You, follow me!"

She turnd on her heel and passed through her groupies not even looking to see if we'd folowed but we did as we rushed to keep up with her.

We followed her right to Leah's office she told her entourage to leave us and motioned us inside and demanded we sit down.

Leah who was on the phone looked up and her eyes went wide and then she looked at us and her eyebrows shot into her hairline, she quickly ended the call and hung up.

"What can I do for you Mrs-"

The frightening lady held up her hand to silence Leah and it worked, she strode right up to Leah's desk and pointed at us.

"Did you even loook at ze pictures you sent me of zees gurls?"

Leah nodded her head and the woman scoffed again.

"Zees girls will never work for zis magazine again!"

Leah opened her mouth to protest but she was cut off yet again.

" 'ow could you send me zose pictures and not expect somzing to happen?"

We were sitting in our seats horrified, were the pictures to scandelous? we hadn't even seen them just posed then left...

Leah stood up straighter and looked the woman straight in the eye.

"What do you plan on doing with these girls?"

The woman laughed...well more like cackled but we kind of knew it was supposed to be a laugh...sort of.

"Zees girls are being removed from your employment and zigning contracts with me and coming with me to model for my magazine in 'OllyWood"

The silence in the room was deafening we'd only been in this since June and it was only mid September! This was ridiculous this doesn't happen in real life! I pinched myself and flinched at the pain on my arm.

Holy Crap!

The woman turned to us and spoke slowly as if we were children

"You are not going to be 'aving your session today ladiez instead you are going home to pack your clothez and you are going to phone your parents and in four dayz time you are going to meet me at zis address promptly and noon."

She handed us each a card and strode out of the room, we heard her heels clicking down the hallway, we waited until they had faded away and at the same time Leah, Alice, Rose and I all screamed.

*J POV*

I'd tried calling Bella the day after her birthday but there wasn't an answer, and still the same thing for the two weeks that followed I heard nothing, then exactly two weeks after I'd tried calling her I had an E-mail from her.

_Hey Jasper!_

_Ahhh I have great news!_

_Franchesca DiMercelloni Came to Seattle!_

_We stood in for a halloween shoot_ (_just sent the magazine via express post to you the page is folded over_)_ that some models had quit and she loved us, she practically bought us out from Leah, we had to move pretty fast so baisically all we could bring were clothes and sentimental stuff, Alice, Rose and I donated everything else to a women's shelter._

_The best news of all though is that I'm going to come visit you in LA!_

_I spoke to Mr. Black and he said Wednesday was good_

_Please tell Edward that I'm REALLY sorry I havent been able to call him, and I'm really sorry that I missed your call after my birthday things just got so hectic so fast :-(_

_Let me know how I can repay you guys and I will!_

_All my love._

_Bella 3 x_

I had absolutely no idea who Franchesca DiMerce-what's-her-face was but Bella seemed very excited, I replied congratulating her on this opportunity.

I heard the door to our suite slam as Edward knocked something over I sent off the E-mail and walked out to see if he'd hurt himself what I saw made me want to be sick.

Edward was in the front hall but he had some blonde bimbo pinned against the wall in a tounge war, I grabbed him by his collar and pulled him off of her and pressed his back against the other wall.

"What the Hell are you doing Edward?"

His grin was big and sloppy, he was shit faced.

"Wuduz it look like im doin?"

I wanted to punch him so hard right now.

"Have you forgotten something?"

At his confused look I continued.

"Brown hair, chocolate eyes, about yay high, known her since we were six? ring any bells, oh and here's another hint she's your girlfriend!"

I released his shirt roughly causing him to stumble

He waved his hand at me dismissively.

"Ah she has her own life now, shez a big time model in Seattle, plush shezzz never gonna visit us, she has ferrrrgotten all about us"

I smirked when I gave him the next bit of news.

"In the E-mail she just sent me she said she's going to be here on Wednesday"

The goofy grin fell off of his face as he shoved the obviously drunk bimbo into the hallway, he spun around on me suddenly very sober and stuck his finger in my face.

"If you tell her Jasper I swear I'll make you regret it"

I sneered at him, I was swiftly losing respect for my brother.

"I wouldn't dare cause her pain like that...you're the one who is going to tell her"

He glared at me and stormed into his room, I sighed and raked my hands through my hair feeling suddenly exhausted, I went to my room and climbed under my sheets and fell into a fitful sleep.

I woke up feeling more tired than when I went to bed, I walked groggily to the kitchenette and put some coffee on, I heard a thump at the front door and looked outside to find the newspaper there with a larg padded manilla envelope addressed to me.

I brought it to the table and left it there while I made my coffee, lots of sugar and a little bit of cream.

I walked back to the table and sat down, I opened the envelope and there were two copies of Spring, which was apparently an international award winner for women's magazines.

I tossed one copy aside, knowing it was for Edward, I flicked through the corners looking for a folded one but I guess she forgot so I started at the beginning, flipping through each page slowly.

I was at about the middle of the magazine when I spotted something Halloween related, the phrase at the bottom of the page is what caught my eye first.

_Who doesn't want to be 'Frightfully Sexy' this Halloween?_

_~Victoria Secret~_

Nah Bella would never have the confidence do something like this though I know she could, I grew up with the girl I knew first hand that she had a gorgeous figure.

I glanced at the girls on the page one blonde one brunette and one with black hair, I was about to turn the page when the girl in the middle caught my attention, I started at her shoes slowly scanning my eyes up her legs to her flat stomach then to her chest, I brought my coffee cup to my lips and took a sip as my eyes landed on the girl's face.

I was coughing and choking and moaning in agony as scalding coffee coursed down my windpipe, it _couldn't_ be! No way, my eyes were playing tricks on me!

I looked again and nope, I was right, Bella was the sexy brunette in nothng but a bra and a pair of panties, _that_ is an image that I won't easily get out of my head.

After I had calmed down a little I performed my usual ritual, I carefully removed the page leaving it completely intact and pulled out the scrap book of all of Bella's work.

I flipped through what she had done so far, my absolute favourite...well second favourite now, was one where here and her modeling partners were having a mock slumber party her hair was in braided pig tails and they were having a pillow fight it looked so natural you'd think someone snapped a candid photo of them having a real pillow fight.

I secured the new image into the scrap book and put it back under my bed. Yup you guessed it Edward doesn't know about the scrap book, but he doesn even like that Bella is doin the modeling either, he tells her that he is proud of her and that it is so great to see her in a magazine when he never even opens the copies that she sends him.

He's always telling me how it is going to change her and he can already hear it in her voice when he talks to her on the phone, all I hear in her voice is excitement for her work, I was becomeing increasingly concerned for my brother...maybe this visit with Bella on Wednesday would do him some good...I just hoped he'd acctually tell her about the blonde bimbo that he was miking out with...

*B POV*

I sent off the E-mail to Jasper and closed my computer, right now Alice, Rose and I were sharing a three bedroom apartment in a fairly highclass section of LA I don't even want to say how much Franchesca gave us as a downpayment for signing with her, it made me feel like I'd sold my soul...well this was the modeling business so I pretty much had.

It was huge and the fact that it had those really cool windows that by pressng a button on a remote shades would slide down inside them and make it pitch black in the room was wicked awesome!

The closet in my room was the size of my bedroom in our old apartment in Seattle, I wanted to know how much this place was costing in rent but Franchesca merely said.

"Do not worry, eet iz taken care of"

So now we pretty much waited around for Franchesca to tell someone she wanted us in a particular shoot, she gave us a couple of weeks to settle in though, so I took Wednesday to go and visit my boys, I was bouncing in my seat in the cab on the way over to the hotel.

I got up to their floor and knocked on their door, I heard a muffled;

"Who is it?"

I giggled and put on a fake voice

"Roooom Service!"

I heard more grumbling as the door slowly opened.

"Didn't order no damn room- (gasp)-BELLA!"

It was Jasper who'd answered the door and I threw myself into his arms as he spun me around in a wide hug and we just kep laughing while looking at each other then I heard a throat clear from behind me and I spun around only to have Edwards lips crushed into mine as he held me tightly against himself.

When we broke apart my eyes were brimming with unshed tears and he caught one on his thumb as it spilled over.

"Don't cry love, you're here now"

I smiled and motioned Jasper over and we clung to each other in a group hug for who knows how long, then we just sat and talked for hours.

We were positioned on the couch they way we used to si back home, me cuddled into Edwards side with my legs across Jasper's lap while he massaged my calf muscles, suddenly my phone started ringing, I looked at the caller ID and sighed.

"It's Bianca, my agent, I have to take this call"

I stepped into the kitchenette to answer it and she gave me some really exciting news.

*J POV*

"So Edward...When are you going to tell her?"

He glared at me and was about to say something when Bella's scream sounded from the kitchen we were both there in a flash and she spun to face us with a huge grin on her face.

"Uh-huh, yes, of course! that's not a problem...yes, oh thank you so much Bianca!, you're the best, buh-bye now"

She hung up her phone and hugged us both tightly.

"Im going to Paris! its only for three months, Franchesca want's the girls and I to train in her different schools, I'm going to Paris, Rose is going to London and Alice is going to Italy! oh my gosh!"

I squeezed her tighter with the arm that I had around her and I felt her pat my back.

We had just gotten her back and she would be leaving so soon, two days to be exact, she promised to e-mail us every day and call us when she could, but it was going to be hard...especially because I don't know if Edward can be trusted...we'd only ben here for a few short months and it was as is he'd left his morals back in Forks.

*E POV*

Great, yet again her career was getting in the way of us being together...this really sucked, I guess I can just hang out with the guys and go to the clubs and stuff for fun.

I hugged her tighter as Tanya crossed my mind, this gave me three more months to avoid _that_ conversation at least.

*B POV*

They stood with me at the airport and I held both of thir hands, it was just like when they left for LA but this time, it was me leaving them behind, when I heard my flight called I hugged Edward tightly to myself and kissed him deeply before I turned to give Jasper a hug.

When my arms went around him, I felt him slip something into my jacket pocket but I was to focused on hugging him to care what it was at the moment.

Once I was on the plane I started to cry, I had just gotten them back and now I was leaving them behind, it was absolutely heart breaking... this was the worst September ever.

~October~

I called Rose and Alice when I landed I was on my way to the rooming house where I would be living with the other models for this three months, they were going to be leaving for the airport to get to their destinations in about an hour, I had arranged for Edward and Jasper to live in our apartment for the time that we would be gone but only Edward was up for the offer but at last minute decided he would stay at the hotel as it was easier for food cause all he had to do was order room service, that stung a little bit but I understood, he burned water when he tried to make mac and cheese.

Now three weeks since I'd left I spoke to Jasper on the phone once a week, Edward was always harder to reach as he went out in public to partis to get himself out there and I understood that, he always replied to my E-mails so I wasn't too fussed about it.

The girls I lived with were totally catty so unless I was at the academy I was in my room on my computer or on the phone.

I tried calling Edward on his birthday but he didn't pick up even though I'd called Jasper first to find out where he was, I figured Jasper must have been mistaken, it made me feel low to know that we had drifted apart Edward and I, when we were still living down the street from each other when we'd first started dating he couldn't go to bed at night without calling me, now that we were an entire ocean apart, he didn't have the time to pick up the phone...

~November~

I was excelling in the academy and Franchesca was talking to the academy director about possibly sending some girls home a couple of weeks early so it was decided that I would be back in LA during the first week of December, I went sight seeing and saw the Eifle tower, I went to the Louvre, and I ate in one of those little sidewalk Cafe's you see in movies.

~December~

I got on the plane and couldn't stop bouncing , I was going back to my boys I'd only seen them once in the past six months and now I was getting a whole month off to just rest. I went to put my jacket on as I was cold and felt something in the pocket, I'd completely forgotten! back at the airport when I was leaving Jasper had put something into my pocket!

I pulled out the now very creased envelope and looked inside to find a note taped to a hotel room key.

the note was in his loopy handwritting.

_You'll always be family Bella, when you get back from Paris, come visit us_

_J 3 x_

I smiled and tucked the key into my purse and fell asleep for the remainder of the flight.

in the airport limo I gave the driver two addresses, I gave him Alice, Rose and I's apartment and told him to continue onto there with myluggage after dropping me at the guy's hotel.

I gave him a generous tip before climbing out it was still very early barley five thirty in the morning, but I would just sit on the couch in the living rooma nd wait for them to wake up.

I slid the key into the door and opened it as quietly as I could I kept my purse on my shoulder as I snuck to Jaspers room first, I was only going to peek in, I was dissappointed when I saw just the rumpled sheets on the bed and no body, that's whn I noticed the note taped to his door.

_Ed,_

_gone down to gym to work out_

_be back soon...though you probably won't be awake to read this not before I return_

_J_

I taped the note back to his door and tiptoed down the hall to Edwards room, I eased the door open enough for me to squeeze my head through I was just about to peek in when and arm grabbed me around the waist, it was Edward! I threw my arms around him as I kissed him passionately, he kissed me back as he pulled me close to him, he kept looking towards his door so I tried to guide us there but he kept us rooted to the spot.

I was confused until I heard a oice from behind us and it was most _definitely_ not Jasper.

"Eddie, where'd you go? I'm cold"

I spun around just in time to see a blonde with very fake breasts stepp out of Edwards room without a stitch of clothing on, I turned to Edward with questions in my eyes and he only stared at me as if wondering what I would do next, I made to turn and run out of there but he grabbed my wrist.

Not in control of myself I swung around and slapped him hard on the face, he released me and I bolted for the door.

I left it open as I ran out, I was hyperventilating by this point and ran smack into somebody coming out of the elevator, as I gasped for air I heard someone calling my name I looked up and burst into tears.

Jasper lifted me to my feet and hugged me he kept asking me what was wrong but I just shook my head, he then started guiding back down the hall and I freaked.

"No no I can't go back in there I won't!"

He looked confused and looked me in the eye.

"I'm so done with him, first he doesn't talk to me when I'm in Paris and now when I come here to surprise you guys with my early return he's in bed w-with...her..."

Jasper cursed under his breath and pulled away to storm to their room but I caught his sleeve.

"C-can you just t-take me home p-please Jazz...I just want to go home"

He nodded stiffly and we went downstairs and hailed a cab, I cried in his arms the whole way to my apartment, we got inside and my luggage was already there in the front hall but Jasper ignored it as he took me to the couch in the sitting area.

We sat down and he just hugged me until I cried myself dry.

I was drifting to sleep when I heard the beeping of him pressing buttons on his phone and then I heard his voice which was as rich as it ever had been.

"Hey Jacob...I have a question...How likely is it that I could make it solo? Awesome because..."

This is where I drifted to sleep so I missed the rest of the conversation.

I jolted awake at the violent pounding on the front door I gorand and squeezed my eyes shut as bright sunlight burned my retina's.

"Stay down on th couch Bella, let me see who it is first"

Jasper tucked the blanket that hadn't been there before around me and kissed my forhead as I nodded, I heard his footsteps in the hallway and the shutter on the eye hole oppened with a click.

"Shit..."

I heard the door open slightly and Jasper took a deep breath.

"What do you want Edward."

I heard a scoff and a bang letting me know that he had stormed in.

"Im here to see my girlfriend, great job by the way deciding to let me go solo, you were holding me back, its like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders...BELLA!"

I clasped my hands over my ears as he shouted and stormed through the apartment, when he went into one of the bedrooms Jasper rushed me into he kitchen closing the door behind me softly, I

could still hear Edward clearly though.

(_Bella_, Jasper, **Edward**)

"**Where is she?"**

"She went out"

"**What did she go out for, she just got back from Paris"**

"I don't know maybe she went out to find a decent guy since her ex-boyfriend is such a douche?"

"**I'm not her ex...we are still very much together"**

I rolled my eyes here, we were so over it was like the end credits in the movie, the show was done yet he was still hanging around, fooling himself that more scenes would appear on the screen.

"Ha ha that's funny, cause quote, 'I'm so done with him' end quote...I think she broke up with you dude, and by the looks of your face she made the message very clear..."

"**She didn't give me time to explain"**

Ugh the whine in his voice was so irritating.

"**She was gone for three months, I hadn't seen her for three months before _that_, what was I supposed to do?"**

This is where I snapped and stormed out of the kitchen and got right in his face.

"_What were you supposed to _do_? hmmm let me think, oh yes how about not cheat! I never once even thought about another guy, let alone do...whatever it was you were doing with that fake extension weari_ng slut!"

Before I could blink his hand shot out and I felt the sting on my face before I even realized he'd hit me, immediately I saw his face twist into a mask that I had never seen on his face, it was somwhere between a cocky smirk and a disgusted sneer.

"**Yes this coming from the girl who wears only her underwear to stand infront of a camera!"**

I think Jasper was just as shocked as I was otherwise I know he'd have done something to Edward for hitting a woman.

I could feel the sneer slide onto my face as I crossed my arms and stood my ground.

"_You disgust me Edward, how someone who was so sweet and amazing could change so drastically in six months I will never know, all I do know is that I'm not going to waste my time with him anymore."_

Suddenly he had an iron grip on my upper arm and he was shaking me with each word he said, I could hear a loud noise,a mix bewteen a whimper and a scream and realised it was me

"**You. Are. Nothing. Without. Me, If it werent't for me Jacob Black would never have met you!"**

Before I knew what was happening, a hugely muscled guy burst into the appartment and grabbed Edward by the back of the neck and threw him out into the hallway.

"Get out of here before I do something that makes my parol officer angry with me!"

We heard Edward scramble to his feet and then running feet in the hallway that slowly faded into nothing, the big guy turned around as he closed the door, other than his size he looked totally harmless.

"Hey, I'm Emmet, I live next door, you okay hun? He didn't hurt you too badly did he?"

I shook my head as I rubbed my arm, him and Jasper shook hands and suddenly they were behiaving as if they'd been friends forever.

That week Jasper moved in, we bought a cot and put it into my room, goodness knows it was big enough, his clothes fit easily into my almost bare looking closet despite the amount of clothes I really did have.

Emmett was over almost every night with Jasper and I, I would cook dinner and we'd eat it as we watched TV, Edward came over once after the incident but ti was only to have Jasper sign the contract of their separation.

It acctually seemed like it was going to work out well like this, Jasper could focus on just guitar and vocal which he loved and Edward was going to make a band of his own where he played piano and did lead vocals.

It upset me that I had more or less been the cause of the rift that split them apart, that was until Jasper told me of some more of Edwards extracuricular activities like the fact he enjoyed cocaine and ectasy, as far as I was concerned he did me a favour by cheating, then I didnt feel as if I needed to fix him.

Rose was due home tonight so I was going to make home made hamburgers for her, when I got to work I was greeted in my dressing room by none other than Franchesca herself.

"You are no longer going to be you, vee need a new identity for you!"

I was stunned into silence...I though I was pretty good, of course she knew more about ti than I did...obviously.

(Bella, **Franchesca**)

"o-okay"

"**Vhat is your name?"**

"Bella Swan-"

"**No No NO! is not a model name is a girl next door name...what is your name?"**

"Isabella Swan?"

"**Hmmmm, no, you are Isobelle now...well to everyone but your friends...now when girls look upon your face in magazine they will now say! 'Look at how gorgeous, sexy, or beautiful Isobelle is!' Not Oh that girl is pretty but 'hoo is she? No now! You are a famous model...well you will be it will take time...but you will get there."**

I nodded, agreeing with everything she said, mostly because I didn't actually mind but also because that was the best way to keep my job.

The few hours that I'd been at work made me absolutely exhausted, so when I got back to the appartment I decided to take a quick nap before making dinner.

Next thing I knew I awoke with a start and I could smell food, I jumped out of bed and saw Rose _and_ Alice sitting at the dining table with Jasper and Emmett and some guy I didn't know but he looked familiar.

The three of us screamed as they ran to me and we hugged in a circle.

"Alice what are yo doing home so early! you were supposed to be in Itally for five months"

She grinned as she hugged me tighter.

"I'm not a model anymore! I'm a designer! I was just sketching some outfits and one of the directors saw them, he sent them off to Franchesca and she came down herself to visit me in person telling me that I would, and I quote, 'no longer be wearing zees clothez for zis cameram but I wuld be creating zees clothez for zis camera!'"

She flourished her hands around dramatically just like Franchesca and we all laughed.

"Apparently I have a new name, Franchesca says the public will now know me as 'Isobelle' it actually is quite a nice name"

We joined the guys at the table and I realized where I recognized the other guy from.

"OH MY GOD! HOUSE OF PIE!"

He laughed and shrugged his shoulders

"Pizza guy!"

I laughed as I saw Alice snuggle into his side and he kissed the top of her head.

Rose and I gave evil glances at each other and made a commotion simultaneously.

"Awh Alice, so adorable, give us a kiss!"

They pecked sweetly and Rose and I high fived

This was begining to become a routine, Pizza guy, who's name was actually Zach, moved into Alices room, and just after christmas Emmett and Rose decided they were in love and she moved in next door with him, so Jasper finally got his own room.

Now coming into March, Fracnchesca had Rose and I more busy than ever, there were spring lines to shoot and summer lines and the victoria secret shoots that we were constantly being requested for, it was early April when I had my first thought of Edward since December, but that was due to a headline that caught my eye.

'Edward Cullen lead singer of 'April Showers'proposes to girlfriend Tanya Denali'

I would be lying if I said it didn't hurt a little because it did, but with these gossip rags you never knew what the truth was.

To be honest both Jasper and Edward were doing amazingly well in their careers, Edwards band had taken off and Jasper already had a self titled CD out, with combinations of slower and faster songs.

It was friday and Franchesca ordered me into her office, I had to go up a few floors in the huge building where the studio was but I found it easily enough.

"Isobelle! You ave no social life! all you do is work work work, tomorrow night you are going out with a friend of mine's son 'hoo is also and actor...he is very handsome and you will be gorgeous together, your outfit is in your dressing room, he will be at your apartment tomorrow night at seven thirty to pick you up...don't keep him waiting."

I was stunned as I collected the navy dress and silver stilettos from my dressing room, I was back in the apartment before I knew it and Rose along with Alice were practising how my hair and make-up would be the enxt day, I didn't even remember telling them...

Though Jasper was very silent through the enitre conversation, he said he hoped I would have fun

There was something in his eyes though, he looked worried and I could understand that, I hadn't been on a date since the whole Edward fiasco, he was worried about my heart getting broken again...

*J POV*

I was so worried that she was going to give her heart to this clown, she doesn't even know who he is yet and look at how excited she is!

I would have to up my game if I was going to protect her...Emmett would always be there to beat someone up, but I've known her since she was six, she puts on a strong front but she is fragile...


	5. Chapter 4 Realization

**A/N A lot is going to happen in this chapter and time is going to jump forward a lot but the important and longer parts of the story start after this chapter, please please please don't hate me, I hope I don't totally ruin everything!**

*B POV*

When I woke up and saw that it was noon I was shocked that I had slept so late, I then became instantly suspicious, why had I been allowed to sleep so late?

As if to answer my question Rose and Alice burst through the door.

"You won't _believe_ how long we've been trying to get in here, Jasper kept insisting we leave you alone, now we only have _seven_ hours to get you ready!"

I laughed as I climbed out of bed, they instantly grabbed me by the wrists and dragged me into my bathroom, they began stripping me, this would have embarrassed me a year ago but I was used to it now.

When I was in nothing but a robe they scrubbed my face clean of any make-up.

"Now go take a shower! Use the rose scented soap!"

After Rose gave me these instructions her and Alice left, closing the door behind them.

I did so and had barely turned the shower off when I heard the door open again and the curtain was yanked to the side, as if I couldn't do it myself they toweled me off and wrapped a huge fluffy towel around me and rushed me to my vanity where they blow-dried my hair and then put it up with hot rollers.

Alice went back into the bathroom and I heard the tub running, the steam that poured out of the door was horrifying, how hot was that water?

Well I would soon find out as Rose was shoving me towards the door.

The door was closed behind me and I was simply told to soak, they would come get me when I was done.

I dipped my big toe gingerly into the water and found that despite the amount of steam it was acctually a very pleasant temperature, there was a bowl on the side of the tub with a note on top that said.

_Sprinkle all of the crystals in the tub before you get in_

_~A_

I pulled my foot out and did as the note instructed, the floral smell of roses wafted up to my nose with the steam and I climbed in, I put my head back against the edge and closed my eyes, a million thoughts ran through my head but they all kept getting pushed away by the thought of how amazing just soaking in the bath felt.

What had felt like only ten minutes went by before there was more knocking on the door.

"Bella! it has been an hour and half, time to get out!"

I stood up and wrapped myself in the towel again, the door opened and a bottle was shoved at me.

"Rub this into your skin all over and then come meet me and Alice at your vanity"

Again I did as I was instructed and sat down as they began giving me a manicure and a pedicure, once that was done they very purposefully did my make up, and then put me into my dress and shoes, amazingly we only had two hours left!

this was when I realized I hadn't eaten anything yet and I pouted as I looked at Rose, she went to the kitchen and got a granola bar and some water.

"Alice I told you we should have fed her first!"

Alice shrugged as she started removing the rollers from my hair, she shook her fingers through it and my hair fell in big sausage curls around my face and shoulders.

I was then hairsprayed, perfumed, make up touched up, accessorised with a necklace and the bracelet that Carlisle and Esme had gotten me, and we went out into the living room to wait, all of the guys were there and their jaws dropped, it made me feel sexy but I still blushed.

Rose and Alice dragged me to the kitchen where a shot of tequila was poured for me and I was instructed to take it, I did so and felt calmer shortly after.

We spoke to the guys for about ten minutes and there was a knock on the door, Alice and Rose rushed to answer it and shortly after we heard it open there was an ear splitting scream, followed by their shoes clicking down the short hallway, the both held an arm in each of theres as they dragged my date into the room.

My jaw dropped for a split second before I composed myself and stood up, I extended my hand when I was infront of him.

"I suppose Franchesca told you my name was Isobelle, but you can call me Bella."

The smile that flashed across his face both blinded and stunned me as he took my hand in both of his and kissed the back of it.

"Hello Bella, I'm Mike Newton"

He extended his elbow and I took it as Rose shoved my clutch into my free hand, I waved goodbye and he escorted me out of the door.

*J POV*

Stupid movie star good looks...stupid movie star...stupid Franchesca for setting this up...stupid Rose and Alice for making her look so gorgeous...stupid me for letting it bother me so much!

I don't know why I was just realizing it now, I guess I'd felt this way for a long time but only just figured it out now...I love Bella...and not just like a sister or best friend...I'm _in_ love with her...great, this was going to make things awkward.

I went to my room, leaving everyone else infront of the TV, I picked up my guitar and just started strumming as the words to a familiar song suddenly started flowing through my mind.

_The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful  
>Stop me and steal my breath.<br>And emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky  
>Never revealing their depth.<br>Tell me that we belong together,  
>Dress it up with the trappings of love.<br>I'll be captivated,  
>I'll hang from your lips,<br>Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above._

_I'll be your crying shoulder,  
>I'll be love's suicide<br>I'll be better when I'm older,  
>I'll be the greatest fan of your life.<em>

_And rain falls angry on the tin roof  
>As we lie awake in my bed.<br>You're my survival, you're my living proof.  
>My love is alive - not dead.<br>Tell me that we belong together.  
>Dress it up with the trappings of love.<br>I'll be captivated,  
>I'll hang from your lips,<br>Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above_

_I'll be your crying shoulder,  
>I'll be love's suicide<br>I'll be better when I'm older,  
>I'll be the greatest fan of your life.<em>

_And I've dropped out, I've burned up, I've fought my way back from the dead.  
>I've tuned in, turned on, remembered the things that you said<em>

_I'll be your crying shoulder,  
>I'll be love's suicide<br>I'll be better when I'm older,  
>I'll be the greatest fan of your...<br>I'll be your crying shoulder,  
>I'll be love's suicide<br>I'll be better when I'm older,  
>I'll be the greatest fan of your life.<em>

_The greatest fan of your life.  
>...greatest fan of your life.<em>

It was only eight o'clock, but I was exhausted so I climbed into bed and pulled the covers over my head to blockout the laughter coming from the living room.

*B POV*

Mike led me to the limo that he had waiting for us and I was a little nervous, I mean come on! this was Mike Newton! famous actor! I remember having a crush on him when I still lived in Forks, I'm acctually pretty sure every girl at school had a picture of him in her locker.

I hadn't even noticed that we had stopped infront of a restaurant let alone started moving, but Mike was there opening my door for me and I was suddenly assaulted by lots of flashes and yelling I brought my hand up to shield my eyes as Mike tucked me under his arm and pushed through the hoards of people.

I had just survived my first papparazi attack! I would have done a victory dance except for the fact that Mike was right there and the room was full of other people.

Instead I felt Mike place his hand on my lower back which sent a pleasant chill up my spine, the only other people I knew who could do this to me where Edward and Jasper...but Edward wasn't ever allowed to touch me ever again.

I shook the dark thoughts off as we were seated and Mike smiled at me, I almost melted, his eyes were so warm and genuine, I couldn't believe it, I was here in a fancy restaurant with people outside fighting to get our picture, with Mike Newton!

"So Bella, how did you get into modeling?"

I told him my whole story starting with Jasper and Edwards new found fame leading to mine...well sort of, he listened intently and I realized that I'd been talking all through our meal, I felt the blush fill my cheeks as I ducked my head.

"I have been rambling this whole time, why didn't you stop me?"

I peeked up at him and he had a goofy grin on his face.

"Bella I find you absolutely entrancing, why wouldn't I just sit and listen to you? Though Edward is a damn fool I'm glad you two aren't together anymore, I wouldn't have met you otherwise"

The blush filled my cheeks again but I smiled as he reached across the table and took my hand.

"You want to go see something cool?"

He looked as excited as a kid at christmas so I couldn't say no, plus I was painfully curious to see what he had in mind.

We paid the bill and hopped into the car, he said we were halfway there when he put a blindfold over my eyes. I felt the car slowing and then it stopped completely, I heard a door open and shut and the cool breeze felt nice on my skin when my door was opened.

One hand held my hand and the other held my waist firmly as I was guided a few dozen meters he told me to keep my eyes closed because he was going to take the blindfolr off now, I did as he asked and I felt both hands on my hips after it was removed, his warm breath in my ear made me jump.

"Open them"

I felt the wind rush out of me as I took in the sight before me, LA was huge and beautiful! I just stared for at least five minutes I felt a hand come down over my eyes as I was spun around, the hand was removed and I gasped again as I took in the HOLLYWOOD sign.

He was standing next to me now.

"I know this is so cliché but I took a wild guess that you hadn't seen it yet"

I smiled as I shook my head.

"You were right, I hadn't seen it up close until now, thankyou for bringing me here"

I took his hand in mine and squeezed it, I gasped when he pulled me against him and his lips landed on mine, it wasn't aggressive or hard but it was swift, his lips were soft and warm, I felt my arms slide around his neck as I kissed him back.

We broke apart when we needed to breathe and he put his forehead against mine.

"wow"

I smiled as he led me back to the car.

We made it back to my apartment just before one in the morning, he held the door open for me and held out his hand to help me out, once I was steady on my feet he kissed me again and watched me walk to the door, once I reached it I turned and waved goodbye, when the car was out of sight I went inside and up to the apartment.

My key was in the door when it flew open and arms dragged me inside, I was dragged through the apartment and into my room where Rose and Alice turned to me and demanded that I tell them everything.

I gushed about everything right from getting into the car to him kissing me infront of the Hollywood sign.

They screamed quietly as the guys were asleep but it was still high pitched enough for me to cover my ears.

We all decided to have a sleep over in my room that night we pulled the huge mattress down onto the floor and surrounded ourselves with pillows and blankets.

The next morning we went out for breakfast, just us girls but we said goodbye to the guys before we left, Jasper smiled and waved but it wasn't his smile...it didn't reach his eyes...I would talk to him about this later first breakfast, then work, then I would talk to Jasper.

We had muffins with scrambled eggs and coffee for breakfast when Rose and I got to work, (Alice left to go do some designing thing back at the apartment) I almost passed out, standing right infront of our dressing rooms was Mike! with him was Chase Crawford!

Franchesca was talking animatedly to them and smiled when she saw us come into view.

"Gurls gurls, wonderful timing! Mike and Mr. Crawford 'eere are going to be doing a shoot with you ladies to promote their new movie, now go get dressed"

We nodded and ducked into our rooms, we headed to the studio in our summer dresses and were brought onto a set that was set up like an 80's backyard barbecue.

Chase was sitting on one of those lounge chairs, Rose was instructed to stand beside him holding a tray with a glass of lemonade on it while Mike had on an apron standing infron of the barbecue I was to have my arm around him as he pretended to show me the burgers on the grill.

The shoot was done and it was late I held back a yawn as I walked out of my dressing room to wait for Rose.

I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist and I smelled Mike's cologne.

"Guess who!"

I shook my head at the flashback that assaulted me and smirked.

"Hmmmm batman?"

I felt him chuckle silently befor he released me and I turned around.

"I had a lot of fun last night Bella...We should definitely go out again, I really enjoy your company, and you're so real."

As he was finishing that sentence he was slowly leaning towards me, his lips had barely grazed mine when a throat cleared behind him, I leaned round his shoulder and saw Rose standing there with a pleased smirk on her face.

"Sorry, was I interupting?"

I scoweled as Mike laughed.

We went out the next night just to the movies but it was nice, before getting out of the car at my apartment he held my wrist and looked at me from under his lashes.

"Would it be too soon to ask you if you wanted to go public with this? like you know, well...be official?"

It was only the second date the thought made me nervous.

"Mike I really like you, but we need this to take it's own course naturally, if people find out they find out...when we are truly ready to put a title on us, we will...I look forward to when we have one though"

With that I kissed his cheek and he grinned before the door closed and the car drove off.

That was at the end of March...it is now June exactly a year since I got into this world and exactly a month after Mike and I went public that we were a couple. The tabloids came up with the most unoriginal names but they stuck.

such as Mikobelle, Misobelle and a few others that were trying too hard to sound creative.

Alice and Zach moved into a smaller place of their own in May, so to economize space, Jasper and I rented a smaller two bedroom apartment closer to the studio.

Shortly after Mike and I went public Edward began appearing in the tabloids, the engagment to Tanya Denali had only been a rumor but they were together, in one article it said he was seen in a nightclub bathroom sniffing a line of cocaine.

I cried the night that I read that article, yes it couldn't all be true...but it couldn't all be lies either...He wasn't the Edward that I had grown up with and fallen in love with...he was a stranger to both me and Jasper, Carlisle and Esme were heartbroken but they were strong they fed off of the good publicity and energy that Jasper was getting he'd formed a band now as being on his own was lonely as he put it, he loved performing _with_ people.

I remember their first concert, Mike and I went to it and I could almost hear the music again.

"_You all know Jasper Cullen from his self titled CD but here he is now, live in the newly formed group, NEXT OF KIN!"_

I shook my head to clear the memory when I heard a knock on the door, I was expecting Mike any second now and flew out of my room to answer it, I jumped back when I saw none other than Edward at the door.

"Why hello, Isobelle, is it now? always knew it would go to your head."

I crossed my arms and stood my ground.

"It was Franchesca's idea Edward...what are you doing here?"

He shrugged and flopped onto the couch and pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

"I'm not allowed to come visit my brother and his best friend?...or are you two sleeping together now?"

My face flushed with anger as I ripped the cigarette out of his mouth and threw it in the sink in the kitchen.

"No Edward we don't, I have someone in my life right now, infact he should be here any minute, I doubt if Jasper wants to see you but you can wait outside until he gets back"

He grinned as he got this angry reaction out of me, he stood and put his hand against my cheek, I shivered involuntairily.

"I realy get under that skin of yours don't I, You still have feelings for me don't you? strong feelings? Well my poor disillusioned doll, I'm over the small town hick I've finally seen you as, the rest of the world will see it too, you play dress up for a little while longer and then go home and leave being famous to the grown-ups"

I stepped away from him with a disgusted look on my face, it hurt to hear him say theses words

but he wouldn't see me cry, not again never again.

"Get. Out. Of. Here"

I punctuated each word by jabbing my finger towards the door. He laughed as he flopped back down on the couch, I growled and stormed over to the door and swung it open as I turned back to him.

"Edward if you don't leave now I'm going to call the cops"

He laughed as I felt a hand on my shoulder, I hadn't even heard Mike approach, I leaned back into him as I felt him kiss the top of my head.

"You heard her dude, I'd leave before this gets confrontational"

He shrugged as he loped off of the couch and out the door, but not before shooting a snide remark over his shoulder that caused silent tears to pour out of my eyes.

"Enjoy my damaged goods man, good luck"

I heard Mike slam the door and then he turned me to face him as he wrapped me up in his warm arms. I sobbed into his chest as he stroked my hair.

"I-I'm s-sor-rry"

He sushed me as he pulled away to look down at me.

"Don't listen to what he says, he doesn't have brains enough to know what damaged is...look at the bimbo he's with, that is proof right there"

I laughed and he hugged me, then he kissed my forhead, my cheek, my jaw and then he sent a trail of kisses down my neck to my collar bone which had me growing warm, pretty soon we were in a heavy makeout session, how we went from there to waking up naked in my bed I will never know, but I silently laid my head down on his chest as I mulled over what had just happened.

It wasn't like fireworks going off but it felt good, it felt good to be intimate with someone, it felt good laying in his arms, it just felt safe, and comfortable.

I was so lost in thought I jumped when I heard him speak.

"Move in with me"

I raised my head and looked at him

"What?"

He sat up and pulled me to his chest.

"It scares the hell out of me that he came here when you were alone, it scares the hell out of me that it could happen again...I don't want you getting hurt, or upset by anymore surprise visits...Move in with me"

I was stunned but I felt myself nod, this was a fairytale for the second time in my life, this doesn't just happen in the real world, it doesn't!

It all happened so quickly, before the end of July I was living with Mike in his house, Jasper rented a basement apartment from some old lady and I visited him a few times a week, it was all so surreal, who knew that in three months my entire world would be flipped.

It happened on October 13th, I'd turned twenty exactly a month before and Mike for some reason decided he loved me strongly enough to propose to me, I accepted, we decided that a long engagement would be best as he had a few movie deals lined up and I was going to be going to Paris in the following April for four months, on a modeling contract.

I was heading over to visit Jasper when I heard it on the radio...

"_Breaking news! Lead Singer from 'April Showers' Edward cullen was found dead in his hotel room early yesterday morning from an apparent heroine overdose..."_

The rest went in one ear and out the other as I hit the gas and made it to Jasper's in half the time it would have taken usually.

I parked and flew to his door, I knocked and he answered it after I knocked again more frantically, the look on his face told me that he already knew, of course he'd know, he's his brother for crying out loud!

I wrapped my arms around him and he more or less collapsed into me forcing us to the floor though I had enough strength to guide us down slowly his body shook as the heartbreaking sobs tore through his body, the pain that I could feel rolling off of him was unbearable and I burst into tears too, I bent my head to his and we stayed like that for a really long time.

Once he calmed down, I led him to the couch and sat him down he drooped his head to my shoulder as he tried to steady his breathing which was still coming in ragged gasps.

I rubbed his back soothingly as his breathing slowly steadied itself.

"I'm sorry Bella I didn't mean to-"

I hushed him as I tightened my arms around him.

"Don't apologize he's your brother, even if he hasn't been acting like it for the past few months he is still your brother, he's still Edward...somewhere inside."

I heard him mumble something into my shoulder but I didn't catch it exactly.

"Sorry I couldn't hear you..."

He sighed and raised his head.

"You're speaking of him in the present tense...is, has...he's dead...he _was_ my brother...now he's _dead_..."

It was heartbreaking to see and hear but he visibly wilted infront of me, After a couple of hours he told me to go home, that he would be fine I told him to call me if he needed any company at all, no matter what time it was, I had the next two weeks off already due to some rewiring of the studio.

He agreed and I left, when I got back to Mike's house there was a message on the answering machine.

"_Hey Babe, sorry I missed you, I guess you've already heard and went to see Jasper, I know you weren't very fond of him but I'm so sorry, you were close for so much of your lives, but you're strong and I love you, you'll pull through, I have to stay in the hotel across from the set tonight we are going to be running late and then we are starting early again tomorrow, I love you and I'll call you later, byeee"_

I wiped away the fresh tears that had started falling and went to make some dinner for myself.

simple mac and cheese was what I needed, comfort food, after eating I turned on the tv and was watching movies when I drifted to sleep.

I woke up to the phone ringing and I answered it groggily.(_Mike_, Bella)

"Hello?"

"_Hey Darling, I know it's three thirty but I just had to say goodnight, how're you doing?"_

"I've been better but I've been worse, your call earlier helped, how did the shooting today go?"

"_It was good, we got a lot done but we are far from finished, I should be home at about noon tomorrow, don't feel too lonely without me"_

we talked for a few more minutes before I insisted he get some sleep.

I decided to take a shower because I felt gross from falling asleep on the couch, the hot water helped loosen my muscles, after my usual shampoo condition routine I stepped out and wrapped a towel around myslef, I got into my room when my phone beeped alerting me to a missed call.

I checked my voice mail and heard the tearful message Jasper left me I dropped my phone and hurriedly put on an old T-shirt and a pair of grey sweats before rushing out of the house to my car.

I was halfway there when I realized I'd left my phone on the bed but I refused to waste the time to turn back to get it now.

I didn't even knock when I got to Jaspers I just entered, when I didn't see him in the living room I checked the kitchen, again no dice, I went to his bedroom and my heart broke he was laying on the floor next to his bed sobbing, I went to him and helped him up onto his bed and I kissed his forehead and pulled him into a tight hug.

He too wrapped his arms around me and sobbed onto my shoulder I stroked his hair and rocked him back and forth.

Before I knew what was happening he had kissed my neck, the touch of his lips sending heat shooting through my body, it was a short touch but it was electric, his lips again touched my neck slightly higher, he trailed kisses up my neck to my jaw, I struggled to keep my senses with me.

"J-Jasper I-"

He crushed his lips to mine sending fire coursing through my body and all of my resistance went out the window, I tangled my fingers into his hair as the fire completely consumed me he laid me back on the bed and positioned himself over me as his fingers trailed down my side, increasing the blaze already burning inside me.

When his fingers grazed the bare skin where my shirt had risen slightly, I gasped, I'd gone further than this with two other people in my whole life and by the end it hadn't felt anywhere near as amazing as that one touch did.

I shivered as he pressed his palm flat against my bare stomach, that's when I remembered my lack of a bra and panties, Jasper soon discovered this too and moaned into my mouth which made me kiss him harder.

Before I knew it my shirt was on the floor and he was trailing kisses down my neck between my breasts and down my abdomen, I shocked myself when I heard myself whimper and soon Jaspers lips where at mine again as my fingers worked to unbutton his shirt I fumbeld with the first one and swore, he chuckled and used his free hand to unbutton it himself once it was off I slid my hands down his smooth chest and around to his back and up to his shoulder blades.

I gasped when he flipped us so that I was ontop of him, skin to skin, everywhere that we touched burned, I felt his fingers trail up my sides and I resisted the urge to moan, I trailed my hands down his chest and abdomen and rested them at the waist of his jeans.

He simply nodded and I undid them, carefuly so that our lips never separated he slid them off along with his boxers, I felt his fingers hook into the waistband of my sweats he pulled back to look at me and I nodded as I felt the fabric leave my hips, I kicked them off.

Now totally exposed to each other, the fire multiplied tenfold, he turned me so I was on my back again as he trailed kisses down my neck I shifted so I was beneath him and crushed his lips to mine again.

He pulled away and stroked my cheek, the husky tone of his voice almost sent me over the edge.

"Bella...are you sure? We can stop..."

I shook my head as I pulled him back down to silence him with my lips, when I felt him enter, the moan the tore through my throat would have been embarrassing, but right now I didn't care, we moved together faster and faster until the fire was almost too much to withstand and then it really did feel as if fireworks were going off, as he collapsed on me, using his elbows to prop himself up as not to totally crush me, he kissed me softly an trailed kisses up the side of my face, he settled beside me and wrapped his arms around me, I kissed his chest and drifted off to sleep encircled in his arms.

I woke with a start as I realized what we'd done, me...and Jasper, though it was amazing and I'd never felt anything like it, I was engaged, to Mike.

I groaned as I covered my eyes that was when I realized the lack of person next to me.

I went into the kitchen and there was a note on the table.

_Bella,_

_Words cannot describe how sorry I am for what I made you do, I know you have Mike and that the two of you are going to get married, I've left for Forks, Edward's funeral is next friday, but I need to spend some time with my mom and dad, I haven't seen them since christmas last year, which is far too long._

_I hope that your respect for me remains intact, I will never mention last night again, I will see you at Edwars funeral next friday, the spare key goes under the door matt when you lock up._

_talk to you later._

_Jazz x_

I tore up the note and threw it in the garbage, I looked at the clock and swore to myself it was almost one thirty and Mike said he would be home at noon, I hoped he'd be running late then I could at least shower before he got home.

No luck, I pulled into the driveway and parked next to his car, I ran through excuses in my mind and came up with one that I thought was fitting though I felt sick to my stomach for lying to him like this.

"Hey, where have you been I tried calling your cell ten minutes ago"

I shrugged as he hugged me, making the guilt course through my body.

"Sorry I must have left it upstairs, I went to the boardwalk for a jog"

He accepted my excuse and kissed my forhead, his touch feeling bland compared to the fire Jasper created last night.

I shook this thought out of my head as I went upstairs to shower, I cranked the water as hot as I could stand it and cried, my tears mixing with the shower water.

What on earth was I going to do now?

I spoke to Franchesca and she told me to take and extra week off, Mike couldn't go with me because of the movie but he told me to give his condolenses to Carlsile and Esme.

I parked the rental car outside my old house, it felt weird to knock on my own door but I did, when Charlie answered he gave me a tight hug, but I'd already cried all of my tears, as far as Charlie knew, Edward and I had broken up and remainded friends.

The funeral was tomorrow and I'd arrived late so Charlied ordered a pizza and after eating we went to bed, I slept on the couch as my room was completely empty.

All morning Charlie looked uncomfortable, I chalked it up to being in the suit and we proceeded to the church where the funeral would be held, I stared at my hands through the whole service, silent tears falling from my eyes at the words being spoken, now I could finally say goodbye, to the Edward I knew, not the one who died last week but the one who had dissapeared a year ago.

We moved to where he would be buried and I wrapped my arms around both Esme and Carlilse before giving Jasper a quick hug, never meeting his eyes, I then stood next to Charlie and held his hand, it was moist and clammy I looked up at him and gsaped, he was a grey colour and appeared to be having a hard time breathing, I'd barely had time to say Carlisle's name before Charlie crumpled to the ground, Carlisle diagnosed it as a heart attack and worked on him for almost ten minutes at the side of his sons grave before he shook his head with a sad look in his eyes.

I would've collapsed had it not been for the strong arms that wrapped around me, I turned into his chest but no tears came, instead I just screamed, I screamed until my throat was hoarse and I felt numb inside. I sank to the ground and just sat there staring at nothing, images of my life with Charlie running through my head, my first bike, first broken bone, first car, first date with Edward.

The funeral for Charlie was held two days later, again I broke down and again I felt numb.

I don't know how or when but I was brought home and looked after, Shortly after arriving home though I began packing my bags again, I gathered all of the pictures in the house as well as anything of sentimental value and taped the big box shut.

I drove up the street to the Cullen house and with the box in my arms rang the door bell, Esme answered the door as Carlisle and Jasper were still at the grave sight.

I explained to her that I was going back to LA, I requested that she kep this box stored away for me until a time that I could look at the items inside, she agreed before pulling me into a tight hug an insisting that her home was my home too, I smiled sadly before I got back into the car and drove to the airport.

I'd seen Jasper once since coming back from Forks, but now it was christmas morning, I left him a voice mail wishing him a happy holiday, I knew he was back in washington after Edward died he swore to see his parents more often, that's why I took the chicken way out and left the mssage at his house here in LA.

Mike and I spent the whole morning together unwrapping presents that we'd gotten for each other, but he shortly had to leave for work again, with his job he didn't really get many holidays, soon after he left I layed down for a nap, I'd been so tired lately and hardly ever was I hungry I still ate but not a lot.

My old house had sold quickly and for a very good price, I put the money from that away with the money left to me in Charlie's will.

I had only dozed for about two hours when my phone rang and Franchesca was on the other end.

"Where are you? you were supposed to be here an hour ago, hurry up!"

With that she hung up and I groaned, how could I forget the christmas party, I put on a nice dress though zipping it up was difficult, stupid christmas choclates! I curled my hair and went light on the make up and was pulling up to the studio in no time, once inside Franchesca took one look at me and frowned but then shook her head and guided me to a group of people whom were talking in a corner, I was introduced and boring small talk ensued.

It had only been about a half an hour when I suddenly felt dizzy, I felt myself sink to the floor as there were shouts to call an ambulance and get a blanket, I came around in the ambulance and was shocked to see Franchesca sitting in there with me, she was patting my hand and nodding to herself.

It was only later once I'd been checked over and had some bloodwork done did she speak to me.

"Isobelle...no Bella suits you much better...you know why you are here?"

I shrugged.

"Lack of sleep"

She shook her head sadly.

"Bella, when they come and tell you what I already know, you will no longer be working for me, 'eartless, maybe, but no model 'as a career after zis kind of thing...I am sorry, it was great working with you, I 'ave great respect for you, a termination compensation sum will be deposited into your bank account...keep in touch if you can, I will forever be your friend"

I couldn't process what she was saying, after she left I fell into a confused sleep, I awoke to Mike flying into my room.

"Oh Bella they called me away from filming to tell me you were in the hospital, I didn't know what was going on until I spoke to a nurse. Honey why didn't you tell me you were pregnant."

My jaw dropped and the wind rushed out of my lungs.

"What?"

He explained to me everything that the nurse had told him and that I was almost two months along.

Oh god...

I smiled along with Mike, though the guilt from months before came washing over me again, I told him what Franchesca had said to me and he agreed with her.

"Of course you can't be doing that high stress job in your condition, it isn healthy!"

He started rambling on about all of great things we would do, what colours we could paint the nursery and I felt the guilt bubble over and I exploded.

"Mike just stop! please! I don't deserve this, I don't deserve you...the baby... the baby isn't yours"

He paled and sat down it broke my heart to tell him, but I did, of course he broke off the engagement, he refused to take back the ring, he said he didn't want a reminder of the biggest mistake he ever made that hurt but I more than deserved it.

I gave him Carlisle and Esme's address and asked him to send all of my things there, he said he would and I trusted him not to destroy anything, when I was released from the hospital I went straight to Mike's place, he wouldn't be home which was a good thing, I went up to our room and packed up some clothes and my most sentimental items like a few things I'd gotten from Charlie, I clasped the bracelet from Carlisle and Esme onto my wrist.

I checked into a hotel for the night and booked an airline ticket for the next day, I then called Carlisle and Esme and gave them a slightly unture version of the story.

"He said he wasn't ready to be a father Esme, he will support me but he doesn't want a child in his life, and if he doesn't want that, then he doesn't want me but, I'm coming home to Forks, would it be alright for me to stay with you until I can find a place of my own?"

I heard a sob from her end before she sniffed.

"That is nonsense Bella, you are going to come and live with Carlisle and myself, our house is far too empty, and with Jasper starting his tour next month, he won't be home for holidays for two years!"

My heart ached at the mention of Jaspers name, I told Esme that I would prefer that Jasper not know I was coming into town I'd stay at a hotel until he left on tuesday, and that is what I did.

I'd gotten a phone call from him the day after I'd arrived in Washington telling me that I could move in with him again and I insisted that I finally needed to do something for myself for once, of course he kept insisting but finally I convinced him to drop it for now.

So here I was on tuesday afternoon knocking on the Cullen's front door, Esme opened it and greeted me with a warm hug, Carlisle wasn't home yet but knew all of the details that I'd told Esme.

It hurt that I had to lie to them, but I couldn't ruin Jasper's life too, his band was just starting to make it big, I couldn't pull him away from that.

So I left him out of it, Carlisle and Esme were amazing though, Carlisle performing all of my exams and checkups out of his home office, though at first it was a little awkward, it soon became mildly tolerable on the embarrassment scale.

*J POV*

I Left in mid January for the 'Next Of Kin' World tour, first we hit most of the continental US and then we hopped on a plane to Eruope playing in diferent parts of Italy and then we hit London, it was a drizzly morning in June when I found an E-mail from Esme in my inbox.

_Hello Sweet Boy,_

_How are you? How is the band? _

_Things on our end are normal, your father is working as hard as ever and Bella...well she's doing okay, the way Mike gave her that ultimatum wasn't fair, but he has been wiring money into a bank account for her, so he is at least acknowledging the fact that he's a father._

_Now about Bella, she walks around with a sadness in her eyes Jasper, she thinks we don't see it, but it's there, she visibly lights up whenever we mention you or when there is news coverage of the band on TV, we gave her your old room to sleep in as it was more suitably furnished, she spends hours in there...Now I am a mother and I am your mother I am like a mother to Bella and I am not blind._

_Something happened between you two, and I am not going to Judge or ridicule or point fingers, but I think that if you were to at least send her an E-mail it would improve her mood, Carlisle is becomeing concerned that she could develop PPD after the baby is born, we are willing to try anything to ensure this doesn't happen._

_Now I'm going to pull my nose out of your business, I love you and you make us all very proud of you, have fun, be safe, and think about us often!_

_Love Mom,_

_xoxo_

I'd been told in March that Bella had moved in with my parents just after I'd left, at first it hurt that she hadn't seen me off but she may have been worried about how I would react. I wanted to beat the life out of Mike but he was at least sending her financial aid.

I sent her an E-mail and I hoped it would bring her out of her funk.

_Hey Bells!_

_You won't believe the kind of food I've been subjected to eating out here! And nobody likes freaking juice boxes! it's nuts !_

_I've been getting updates on how you're doing, I can't wait to meet your baby, please send me pictures as soon as he/she is born! _

_I miss you loads, it's rains here a lot, it reminds me of home except there are a lot more people...and they use so many different words!_

_A trunk of a car is a boot! A pharmacy is the chemist, dinner is Tea and tea is a cuppa...so confusing!_

_Anyway Bells, I have to go now, but I look forward to your reply._

_Luv ya miss ya!_

_Jazz x_

I hit send and turned off my computer, I left for band practice with thoughts of Bella on my mind.

*B POV*

In late July that year my little girl came into the world, ten fingers, ten toes and absolutely perfect.

Esme was sitting on the chair beside my bed as I cradled her in my arms.

"Do you know what you want to name her dear?"

I smiled at the sleeping baby in my arms and nodded as tears sprang into my eyes.

"Jazmine Renee Swan"

I recieved a strange look from Esme but chose to ignore it as the bundle in my arms started fussing, I cooed to her as Esme left the room for me to feed her.

"It's okay sweetie sh sh"

Later came the photo session I swear Esme filled two memory cards, when Jazmine was asleep I sent off the pictures to Jasper with the time she was born and everything.

"If only I could tell you everything, she's you all over, well your hair and eyes but...she's you..."

I said this under my breath to myself as I hit send on the E-mail with the pictures attached.

"I just hope you can forgive me."


	6. Chapter 5 Birthday Surprise

A/N The begining of this chapter moves super fast but slows down very quickly.

please don't hate me. and for the record I own nothing.

*J POV*

I spent my free afternoons clicking through all of my E-mails from Bella, we kept up a constant communication through E-mail, and she sent me pictures of Jazmine once a week, sometimes she would send a video of something really cute she had done.

When she was just two days old Jazmine had a myoclonic seizure, after huge amounts of worry and tests, all showing that there were no brain abnormalities or vitamin deficiencies she was diagnosed with epilepsy and with medication they could be minimized.

I still got the occasional E-mail about how one day was rough because Jazmine had a pretty bad seizure but now that she was coming up two she was having fewer, though they had lessened the dosage of her medication they still needed to monitor her closely to make sure she wasn't seizing, this meant she would always have a baby monitor around her until she was a little older.

I'd gotten back from the two year tour with the band back in February but there was a lot of post tour things to do like press releases and PR stuff and then we could go on our vacations, I tried and tried but every time I booked an airline ticket something would come up that required us to stay, finally I got one for the night before Jazmine's second birthday, this would be an awesome surprise for Bella.

I kept a picture of her and Jazmine in my wallet, you could clearly see the resemblence between them, all of her facial features were Bella, but she had Mikes blond hair and blue eyes, her hair was too curly to come from either of them so it must have been from Charlie on Bella's side of the family.

With my connecting flights and everything I landed in Port-Angeles at nine in the morning, I only had a suitcase with me but if need be I could buy more clothes while I was here.

I had dozed off in the back of the cab and woke with a start when he slammed the trunk closed, I got out and payed him, when I turned to look at the house I smiled to myslef, it looked the same as always except the porch was wrapped in streamers, and balloons were tied everywhere.

I deposited my suitcase in the front hall and explored the house but found nobody in there, that was when I heard the laughter from the back yard I looked out the window and saw quite a few young children about two to three years of age.

Carlisle was by the barbecue and Esme was at a picnic table set up with a bowl of punch and cups with snacks littering the entire table I went to stand just inside the patio doors, I was watching for only a minute when I heard a familiar laugh.

I looked off to the side and there was Bella holding a small girl in her arms she had her cradled and they were spinning around and around the infectious giggles erupting from the little girl made me laugh myself.

Bella froze with her back to me as she set the child down who wobbled on her feet because she was dizzy and fell onto her bottom and burst into a fit of giggles.

She turned around slowly and her face lit up in a huge smile as she ran to me and I hugged her tightly.

"You have no idea how much I missed you!"

I kissed the top of her head and held her out at arms length, she'd only gotten more beautiful.

"If it is anywhere near as much as I've missed you then I need to apologize"

She blushed her usual shade of cherry and a throat cleared to our right, I stepped off the patio to hug my mother and father and shook hands with some people who remembered me from highschool or around town.

Suddenly there was a torpedo of blond pigtails slamming into Bella's leg and she smiled.

The girl raised her arms and whined Bella simply looked at her with a smile.

"Pardon?"

The little girl huffed but when she spoke her voice was sweet.

"Mommy up!"

Bella just smiled and repeated her pardon?

The child huffed again and put her hands on her hips, such a Bella thing to do.

"Up Pease?"

When Bella reached down to scoop her up she giggled happily, Bella touched there noses and looked at her right in the eyes.

"Do you want to say hi to my friend Jasper?"

The girl nodded vigorously her pigtails bouncing everywhere, when she turned to me it was like the breath had been knocked out of my lungs, in the pictures it was harder to tell, but in person she was...I shook my head and cleared it as I took her little hand in mine and kissed the back of it.

"Hello Jazmine, My name is Jasper"

she giggled hysterically and hid her face in Bella's neck and mumbled

"Hewo Japer"

She then turned to me with excitment in her eyes.

"Play Wosie?"

I was confused and looked at Bella, who laughed and set the girl on her feet.

"She loves playing ring around the rosie"

Jazmine tugged on my arm excitedly as we she led me onto the grass and we spun slowly, I couldn't understand the words she was saying but suddenly she was rolling around on the ground laughing uncontrollably, she suddenly sat up an shot me with an 'are you stupid?' look.

"Fall down"

I dramatically dropped to the ground making her laugh harder.

"Japer silly"

I pretended to be shocked and then tickled her, at first she was loving it and laughing loudly and then the smile was gone from her face, she was shaking and gasping as tears streamed out of her eyes, I didn't know what was wrong her eyelids were fluttering like crazy.

"Bella!"

She was next to Jazmine in a flash and rolled her onto her side, she cooed loving words to her and stroked her hair, this went on for about a minute when the shaking stopped, she blinked her eyes and clung onto her mother tightly before bursting into tears.

Bella stood up and walked into the house Carlisle following, the whole yard had gone quiet and nobody was moving, though I could see the worry on her face Esme assured everything was alright, Jazmine was usually tired after these episode and was going to go for a nap but she would be rejoining us later on.

I went inside and followed the voices upstairs, I peeked into the first door that I passed and saw Jazmine curled up on the little bed her pigtails taken out and her dress gone she was in a soft looking night gown.

I continued on to my old room and found Bella and Carlisle in there talking.

I stayed just outside the door and listened to the rest of the conversation.

"I know Carlisle and I will tell him...befor he leaves, I'll tell him, he's going to be here for a while anyway so he can get to know her and her condition and everything will be okay"

I felt so bad, I thought I had caused the seizure smething about over excitement ran through my mind and Bella was going to warn me about being more careful with her daughter, I rushed into the room with an apology on my lips.

"Bella I'm so sorry if I had known she would have a seizure I never would have gotten her o worked up I'm-"

She raised her hadn and shook her head.

"Jasper it wasn't your fault, if she is going to have a seizure she is going to have one regardless of what she is doing, I've been getting her worked up and hyper all morning, there was nothing anyone could do about the seizure, Carlisle has checked her over and she is fine, this one was acctually quite small compared to some she's had recently, we are descussing increasing her dosage again."

I bowed my head and fiddled with a strand of my hair.

"I'm still so sorry Bella"

I felt her arms slide around me and I hugged her back.

"Come on why don't we go to the kitchen and get something to eat, dinner isn't for a few hours and you must be starving"

I nodded and followed her downstairs, Carlisle excused himself and went back outside, I didn't fail to notice the baby monitor that Bella had carried down with her and turned on.

She busied herself with making sandwiches and placed them on the counter with a couple of juice boxes.

We shared a sad smile, the last time we had sat at the table and shared this meal together we'd had a third member...but he was gone now, three months short of three years...I shook the sad thoughts out and smiled as I speared the small tinfoil dot with the end of my straw, effectivley spraying myself in the face.

Bella threw her head back and laughed, it was an amazing sound, one I guessed she didn't make often, her eyes were sad soon after and she fiddled with her sandwich.

"Bella...what's wrong? You know you can tell me anything."

She sighed and wrapped her arms around her middle.

"It's Her dad Jazz...I just... wish he could be more a part of her life but I'm so afraid to tell him after all this time..."

Had she not told Mike of her seizures? did he not even see any pictures of his daughter? just sending money once a month was enough for him? But no, I couldn't say any of that to Bella, instead I told her what I'd want to hear.

"I'm sure once he understands fully that he will welcome her with open arms, she is a beautiful child."

Bella smiled sadly and nodded.

"Every day she looks more and more like her father, it makes it even harder to go on not telling him."

"I think she looks more like you Bella, absolutely, effortless in her beauty"

She blushed and took a small bite of her sandwich.

*Bella POV*

I couldn't tell him I just couldn't do that, turn his world completely upside down, it was unfair...but he desreved to know...I don't remember when it happened...it was before the night that we slept together...but it had happened...I'd fallen in love with Jasper...

It had been almost three hours when Jazmine's soft voice cooed through the baby monitor.

"Mommy...Come down pease?"

Jasper sighed and got up from the patch of grass in the shade of the house where we'd been sitting, it was just about one in the afternoon now, he reached his hand down and helped me to my feet and then went to to help Carlisle with the kiddies who wanted to play ride the pony.

I ascended the stairs to find Jazmine curled on her side starring at the door, a gorgeous smile exploded on her face when I rounded the door jamb and lifted her up to snuggle, I changed her back into her party dress and brushed out her har before pulling back into the usual pigtails she wore it in.

Suddenly my daughter gave me a very serious look and I would've laughed if I didn't know that this face meant she was gong to ask a very grown up question, she was far too perceptive for my own good.

"Mommy...I will not tell, Pwomise"

She hugged me around the neck with her tiny arms and put a sweet kiss on my cheek.

"Tell what sweetheart?"

She put her lips next to my ear and whispered softly.

"You love Mr. Japer...your eyes go funny"

With this she shrugged and skipped out of the room, I stared after her with what was surely a very shocked expression, Carlisle and Esme both knew that Jasper was Jazmines biological father but I'd never said a word about loking him, yet my daughter that's _just_ turned two, throws it out there like it is obvious...was it _that_ obvious?

I went back down to the party and found Jazmine in a circle with her nursery school friends playing duck duck goose, Jasper smiled and waved from the barbecue and I gave him a tigh smile and nodded...I'd have to be careful...I couldn't let on about how I felt...that would just be one more thing to ruin his opinion of me...

I went to a circle of the nursery school mothers and we discussed mom stuff, like bed times and alone time, and then for some reason everyone got on the topic of my love life.

It was Maria that brought it up.

"So Bella, is that the hunky young Jasper Cullen? the rockstar?"

I nodded and smiled, curious as to where this was going.

"Oooh is he here to rekindle a childhood romance?"

I smiled and shook my head, how unlikely it would be that he'd come here for anything other than visit his mom and dad.

"No Maria...we are just friends..."

I could hear the sadness in my own voice...how pathetic was I?

Maria unwavering smiled and squeezed my upper arm.

"Oooh well then I just have to introduce you to my cousin, he is younger than me but a couple of years older than you, he is coming into town next week, he is hoping to move down here to be closer to family, you just have to meet him."

I smiled but politley declined her offer.

"Right now Jazmine needs a lot of attention, until we get her medication balanced we need to have her under constant supervision incase she seizes... I just can't imagine not being there for her when one happens..."

The women in the circle gave me sad looks before I excused myself, Jasper had been close by and gave me an 'Are you okay?' Look, at that I burst into tears and ran from the back yard and into the house, I closed my door behind me, laying on my bed I hugged a pillow tightly to my chest and bawled.

A warm hand was on the back of my head and I spoke through my sobs.

"Ju-uhst go - Jas-per...I r-ruin ever-y-thing I touch..."

He pulled me up so I was facing him and looked me hard in the eyes I tried to look away but his hand gripped my chin, not so it hurt but so I couldn't look away so instead I closed my eyes.

Once I'd calmed down and was breathing normally he spoke again.

"You don't ruin everything you touch, where did you come up with such a ridiculous idea?"

I sighed and looked into the all too familiar blue of his eyes.

"Charlie, dead...Edward, dead...Jazmine, seizures...You...I just know I'll ruin everything for you too if you stay friends with me..."

He looked shocked and just kept shaking his head.

"Firstly! How can someone as kind and caring as you even consider that you are responsible for any of those things! And lastly! How the hell could you ruin my life? We have been friends for how long and nothing has happened yet!"

Tears slid slowly out of my eyes as I looked down with my eyes so I wouldn't have to meet his gaze any longer.

"It's already happened...you just don't know it"

For some reason he got angry and he started pacing arund the room and yelling, why was he yelling?

"Bella, I am done with this pity party! you are an amazing person and an amazing mother! nothing that you could have done could have ever been bad or horrible in any way! why can't you see that?"

I don't know what made me say it the way I did but suddenly I was on my feet and yelling right back at him.

"If you think that I am such a great person then explain to me one thing, why for the past two years have I been telling people that Mike Newton is Jazmine's father when in reality it's all just one big lie to protect one man who is both her real father and the only person on this planet that I think I've truly ever loved!"

He stoped pacing and his mouth dropped open, he just starred at me as I wrapped my arms around myself and sat back down onto the bed.

I couldn't look at him, I didn't even know he'd left the room until I heard the front door slam shut, in a matter of minutes Esme was beside me on the bed, rubbing soothing circles on my back.

"Who heard that?"

Her sad smile told me that everyone had heard, her gaze drew my attention to the open window that stood right above the picnic tables we'd set up for everyone to sit and eat at.

Twenty minutes later I'd composed myself and redid my make up before rejoining the party for cake and presents.

It was about Four O'Clock when the guests started leaving with children who were asleep in car seats and carriers.

Jazmine had loved the cake that Esme had made for her and she was overjoyed with her presents, I took her upstairs and gave her a bath and dressed her in a cute little nightgown that was her favourite colour blue.

It was our ritual to watch one movie before she went to bed so I carried her downstairs and we got snuggled into the couch with a big flannel blanket wrapped around us it was just approaching Five O'Clock when I put the disk for lady and the tramp into the DVD player.

Thankfully she was asleep for the part where the dog who lost his sense of smell got hit by the horse drawn buggy, I still cried at that scene every time I saw it.

After the movie was done I brought her upstairs and tucked her into bed, all without waking her up, I had just kissed her forehead and stood up when I heard the creak of the floor boards behind me, I could sense his precense and I wanted to cry when I felt his warm hands grasp my waist as he leaned his forehead inbetween my shoulder blades.

We both whispered becauses we were afraid to wake up Jazmine.

"Jasper I am so sorry, I just never knew when the right time to tell you would be...but you were on tour and the band had just made it big...I couldn't have taken that away from you...but in doing so, I took something else just as important..."

He turned me to face him and kissed my forehead like he always did, even when I was with Edward.

"Bella, though I don't like what you did, I understand your reasons...though you should have told me as soon as you knew..."

I nodded and bowed my head, I knew this day would come but I didn't know it would be this soon.

"I can contact my lawyer and we can get joint custody papers written up and-"

I didn't finish my sentence because he had jerked back from me and the look on his face was hurt.

He pulled me into the hall and closed Jazmine's door softly behind us.

"I don't want joint custody Bella, I fully plan on raising our daughter together, you said you truly _loved_ me, past tense, but whether or not that still stands I am going to live in the same town as my daughter and be part of her world every day for the rest of my life."

The tears that had pooled in my eyes spilled over.

"I never stopped loving you Jasper...god knows when I started but I know I never stopped...I understand if you don't feel the same way and That is perfectly okay with m-"

I was cut off by his lips crashing into mine as that long forgotten electricity shot through my entire body, my arms wound around his neck and I tangled my fingers in his hair, when we broke apart we were both short of breath.

"I have known since that horrible night you dressed up to go out on that first date with that Mike guy that I loved you...and now that I have said it out loud I feel totally stupid for not telling you then and there before you walked out that door..."

My mouth hung open at his admission, I felt even worse now for keeping this from him for so long, I felt the fresh tears slide out of my eyes as I threw my arms around him and clung onto him like I was drowning, he rubbed soothing circles on my back as I sobbed into his shirt, h let out a shaky laugh and patted the back of my head.

"Not quite the reaction a guy is looking for when he tells a girl that he loves her"

I laughed and stretched up to kiss him, a throat cleared behind us and we both turned to face Carlisle who had an amused grin on his face.

"Jasper, if you'd step into my office, we have some things to discuss"

He nodded and followed him throwing a quick smile over his shoulder before he closed the door behind him.

*Jasper POV*

My dad explained all about Jazmine's seizures and what to do when she had one, then we got onto the topic about what I was going to do with this new found knowledge of my fatherhood.

"Well Dad of course I'm going to be here for her, I'd be crazy and heartless not to, she is my daughter, I love her already and I couldn't imagine not being part of her life."

He nodded and then cleared his throat.

"What about your contract with the label? You have to stay with them for a minimum of five years...you have just over two years left...if you leave they could sue you and the other members of the band"

My heart sunk in my chest,he was right...but I had to be here to be a part of Jazmine's life...how would Bella react to this...I wouldn't be surprised if she thought I was trying to shrug of responsibility...this was the hardest thing I ever had to do.

"Carlisle? Jasper?"

The door opened softly behind us and Bella stood there, the blush evident on her face fr eavesdropping.

"I heard what you were saying and...as hard as it would be for me not to tell her...she doesn't need to know yet, I feel that if she knew who her father was but he wasn't around, that would be harder on her than not knowing just yet...like you said it's just over two years more, we could visit all of the time. That way Jazmine gets to know you, you get to know her...I'm sorry if it doesn't sound fair to you but I just think that's what would be best for our daughter"

I felt the tears spring to my eyes, she'd called her _our_ daughter, I crossed the room and embraced her, kissing the top of her head.

"I agree...but I want to be there for every special event, birthday's, christmas...everything"

She nodded into my chest and squeezed me tighter, Carlisle told me he'd said what he needed to say and Bella and I went downstairs and watched a movie together...thoguh we didn't watch much of it, we sat there and talked through the whole thing.

Bella had offered me my old room back but I turned it down, instead deciding I'd stay in the guest room next to Jazmine's bedroom.

I fell asleep and had dreams of what my life would be like from now on...totally different from what I was used to...yet...so much better in so many ways...I had a daughter now...and a woman who I loved very much...


End file.
